12th Street Chatter

Pat Head Punishes ESPN

2008-04-20T14:40:00.001-05:00

Ho Sit Down - Wow

2008-03-26T20:39:00.001-05:00

No explanation needed - thanks Greg

Pink in Thompson-Boling

2008-02-11T19:34:00.000-06:00

The Lady Vols and Rutgers are currently playing a game on ESPN 2, the Duece, for Breast Cancer Awareness. The Rutgers' womens team is wearing pink as is virtually everyone in the arena. FREE TEE SHIRTS! Only about 5% of the people in the stands IN KNOXVILLE do not have orange on. Unbelievable, this has to be the least amount of orange at any UT event since 1908 -but I digress.

There are many things that need awareness these days. People need awareness of the actual views of the Presidential candidates, cell phone etiquette and the of evils of UPS. People are plenty aware of breast cancer. I know that breast cancer is horrible. I know that many women get breast cancer. I know that women should do exams on themselves every month. I know that it runs in your family. And I am a MAN that knows I still have a slight chance of getting the disease.

But this is a sporting event. Can we please just play the game without changing uniforms and having a theme? How about we play a game for the sake of winning the game? Now that is an idea.

Note: I am not making light of cancer. I realize it is serious and kills numerous people. Just do not make a sporting event a cancer event.

How About that Kid From Nevada?

2008-02-06T20:59:00.000-06:00

And today it all fell apart for the young Kevin Hart. The 18 year old high school senior claimed to have scholarship offers from Cal, Oklahoma State, A&M and Oregon despite the fact he had not gone through the NCAA Clearinghouse he had an official announcement ceremony in front of his whole high school. This morning though he buckled under the pressure of a police investigation and told the truth - he never had any contact with officials from those schools and had made the whole thing up. Looks like Fernley High School just got punked.

Check out the article written in the local Reno paper on the day he made his announcement at school.

http://news.rgj.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080202/PREPSPORTS/802020352&theme=

My favorite quote is from his high school (obviously) coach. "This is a great day for Fernley High School. This is one young man who is going to represent us on the national level. But we'll always remember he came from Fernley." He should have an interesting rest of the school year.

Alabama Election Results - Bear Wins in a Landslide

2008-02-05T19:06:00.000-06:00

For 45 Delegates toward the Republican nomination:
Bryant - 81%
McCain - 12%
Huckabee - 4%
Romney - 3%
(Bryant looking Clinton-esque)

In a stunning upset the Bammers have chosen Paul 'Bear' Bryant as their nominee in the most decisive decision of the Primary season. McCain the Republican front runner had not even received 40% of the vote in a state before tonight. It is debated in Alabama as to whether the Bear is actually alive living in Jamaica as most Bammers claim or dead beneath his tombstone in Birmingham. Outside of the state everyone knows that he is rotting in Elmwood Cemetery.

Political strategists are still trying to comprehend the victory but its really pretty explainable when it comes down to it. The Bear played for three quarters with a broken leg against Tennessee which the Bammers equate to John McCain's five years in a Vietnam prison camp. The Bear ran his program like a great CEO so he has business sense in the eyes of Bammers. He was a womanizing fool according to many sources and thus Huckabee's platform is out the window. Once you factor in the fact that most Bammers still believe that Bryant is alive you have a decisive win for the Bear.

Lee County, home of the Auburn, seemed to be the only county with some sense as McCain has won the county by a sizable margin over second place finisher Huckabee while Bryant only got 10% of the vote.

We are waiting on the results of the rest of the Super Tuesday states tonight and will keep you updated on the status of Bryant's candidacy around the country.

Also this link might be the scoop on the Bear's first political scandal which should hit the Mobile Press Register soon.

Archie Can Ball Too

2008-02-03T22:42:00.000-06:00

For those of you who have seen Peyton and now Eli win back to back Super Bowl Championships and MVP's but assume Archie was a has been who was only bad quarterback think again. Eli's escape from the defensive front of the Patriots before he threw down field to David Tyree was impressive tonight but pails in comparison to the below play which Archie made against the Eagles all be it on a much smaller stage.

Blame It On Football Season and Mindy

2008-02-03T22:33:00.000-06:00

So I see my last post was October 21st on here. I apologize as Phillip Fulmer's team kept calling me East wearing me out on the weekends and Mindy Dean had me in between. I hope to start making a couple posts a week again to enlighten those of you that need it.

Tour Michael Vick's House

2007-10-21T10:35:00.000-05:00

In case you were in the market for a home outside of Atlanta check out this awesome European home. Its listed for $4.5 million and comes with 8 bedrooms and 8.5 baths while backing up to Sugarloaf Country Club in Gwinnett County. It was also owned by a certain quarterback that has been in the news lately for brutally killing dogs when he was not playing Superman in NFL games or doing shoe commercials for Nike. I'll let you guess who that quarterback is.

Follow the link below to check out the panoramic views of the former Vick estate for just about every room. I think that they might have left out one room though, they aren't showing his 'Green Room,' at least on the website. If you take the tour in person the good folks at Waters Realty Group just might hook you up.

http://homes.realtor.com/search/listingdetail.aspx?ctid=92419&mnp=49&bd=6&bth=8&typ=7&sid=950fd60b631844eb9485740696520f0b&lid=1090758512&lsn=3&srcnt=8#DetailNFL

1995 UT vs. Bama

2007-10-19T07:54:00.000-05:00

"Manning put it on his hip, bootleg, and he'll walk it in."

I'd Be Pissed If I Was Stuck in Waco Too

2007-10-17T19:28:00.000-05:00

Eric Schnupp an assistant coach for the the Baylor Bears football team has been arrested for disorderly conduct and indecent exposure after urinating on a bar in Waco, Texas over the weekend. The Baptist school took the predictable step of suspending the coach indefinitely after finding out about the arrest. It should also be pointed out that Schnupp played in college for none other than 'the U' otherwise known as the University of Miami. Its funny how crime and Miami seem to correlate isn't it?

It is understandable that he is out pissing on random bars given his current situation. If I was stuck in Waco having a dead end job why not? Its either that or brain wash a bunch of people into believe that you are the second coming of the Lord before the worst appointment in Presidential history comes in and forces you to burn your church down. Aside from Tuscaloosa, there are few towns that would be worse for a young person to live in. Schnupp is just trying to get out of his job in an unconventional way and who are we to judge?

Muschamp Cursing in Hogtown

2007-10-17T19:20:00.000-05:00

Auburn defensive coordinator Will Muschamp has some words of encouragement for his defense. Imagine if the boom mic was near Coach O down in Oxford...

Manning to Nash - Give Him Six

2007-10-05T07:40:00.000-05:00

Why do Tennessee fans have no respect for Georgia?

Exhibit B:

What Should Have Happened in Colorado

2007-10-01T21:58:00.000-05:00

The Rockies and Padres played Monday night for a chance to be in the major league playoffs. Joe Koshansky blew the ballgame for the Rockies striking out to end the bottom of the ninth. The Padres ended up winning the ballgame in extras - thanks to Koshansky. The Rockies played 162 games in the regular season and 1 playoff game for nothing - thanks to Koshansky.

This should end a career which most would consider dismal by almost any measurement. He went 1 for 11 in 16 games (.091), while striking out more than a third of the time, are not numbers that will put you in the hall of fame. That does not include his K to ruin the Rockies' season.

You will not see Joe Morgan mistaking him for Adam LaRoche anytime in the near future on Sunday Night Baseball. You will have kids ordering Happy Meals from Koshansky mistaking him for LaRoche at his new occupation in the McDonald's located in Chantilly, Virginia. Its going to be good living in the parent's basement again right off of I-66.

We bid you adieu Koshansky; and when you are buffing the wax off of my car while making $9 an hour at your weekend job at the Simoniz Car Wash do not expect a tip because you are a pathetic loser who did nothing for an organization that wasted a sixth round pick and $40,000 on a half ass prospect.

(JK is the wronghander on the right on the magizine.)

2007-10-01T21:36:00.000-05:00

1. LSU- Way to catch up BCS polls....
2. USC- I was cheering for Washington...
3. Cal- Pac 10 better then the SEC? No, but Cal is still really good
4. Wisconsin- They keep getting closer to that upset, lucky the Big 10 is terrible
5.Kentucky- This is still a surprise to me
6. South Florida- I called this upset
7. Ohio State- Upset? Maybe...
8. Boston College- I hate to do this, but they are undefeated...can't fight that
9. Hawaii- Got a pretty sweet schedule for a BCS run.
10. Oregon- Congrats on being the first team to have a loss, but still on this poll.

Will Notre Dame Get a Win?

2007-10-01T19:52:00.000-05:00

Michigan had an ineligible player the first three games they played this season and it appears that they may have to forfeit those games which include wins over Notre Dame and Penn State. The player in question is freshman Artis Chambers who made five tackles for the Wolverines over that time span. The Big Ten will take up to three weeks to make a ruling which means if they take all of that time Notre Dame will still be winless because they are not about to win anytime soon on the field. It would be great if the Irish were awarded their first win seven games into the season. It would be great.

This indiscretion in Ann Arbor has given me an opportunity to broach another topic. Michigan's mascot is the Wolverine but there are none in the state today and there never were any to begin with. They did not make up an mascot but this is the next worst thing. It can not be good to be going into meetings as an institution trying to show that there was no malice involved in playing an ineligible freshman while trying to pass off the Wolverine as a native species. You can not rewrite history Lloyd Carr.

James 'Little Man' Stewart vs. UGA in 1994

2007-09-27T19:42:00.000-05:00

Why do Tennessee fans have no respect for Georgia?

Exhibit A:

Game of the Week

2007-09-27T18:46:00.000-05:00

Air Force Falcons at Navy Midshipmen
1:00 EST Comcast Sports

In a game presented to you by military insurance company USAA, the Navy Midshipmen will attempt to right their ship against Air Force. Navy's defense has been inept in losing two of their last three games. They beat Duke last weekend but not before the Blue Devils put up 43 in a losing effort. Air Force comes in off a schlakcing last week against in state rival BYU.

Eric Kettani lead a running game that had a two headed quarterback attack for the Naval Academy against the Dukies last week. Jarod Bryan t came in to spell starter Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada after he left winded in the fourth quarter. The downfall of this team has been the defense and if they play well the Midshipmen will win.

Air Force's new coach Troy Calhoun is looking to get his team rolling again after suffering his first defeat since he began piloting the Falcons. Shaun Carney will be at quarterback commanding the team at quarterback. Carney started nine games as a freshman for Air Force which is very impressive considering the training that students at the Academy must participate in before fall practice starts.

Navy will take its first step towards acquiring another Commander's and Chief's Trophy coming away with the win in a 37-31 game that will be hosted by the largest crowd in the history of Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium (another bold prediction.) Carney will play well, but the Navy defense will come together to hold the rope and keep Air Force out of the end zone late. Mark it down.

Note: Watch out for Bob if you are at the game. He will be the only guy in the stadium wearing orange.

A Straight Floridian Gets the Boot

2007-09-27T18:25:00.000-05:00

Super Duber 2004 High School All-American recruit Willie Williams has been kicked off of the Louisville Cardinals football squad for breaking a deal with athletic director Tom Jurich. Apparently Williams promised not to drive down the street blasting music and when pulled over by cops for this infraction he promised not to have weed or try to hid it by putting it in his mouth. That is just an educated guess though.

Things have gone down hill quick in Louisville since Bobby Petrino left to deal with the circus that is the Atlanta Falcons. Not only have they lost twice but they have had to deal with a linebacker that the University of Miami would not admit because he was too much of a thug/criminal. I guess 11 arrests as a teenager are not enough of a hint to the Cardinals that they should not waste a scholarship on him. Well it seems they have figured it out now...

There is Something About Va Tech...

2007-09-25T21:08:00.000-05:00

Former Hokie and current Atlanta Falcon DeAngelo Hall had some trouble this weekend covering Steve Smith. He decided to take it out on the referees costing his team 67 yards on three penalties on the game winning drive for the Carolina Panthers. According to AllHipHop.com, and that site has to have real news, he was beaten up in the locker room immediately after the game for his actions on the game winning drive. A more credible source Kissing Suzy Kolber also reports it so it is confirmed.

This is the same DeAngelo Hall that was not allowed to participate in post bowl game workouts by Frank Beamer due to poor behavior in the bowl game. That's a wow, Va Tech, the school with Michael Vick Hall, turning its back on a player (and yes, Michael Vick Hall is a hell of a pun). Or was that Jimmy Williams? They are all bad citizens so whatever.

Falcons coach Bobby Petrino says that Hall will be disciplined for his actions. Here is a link with a video clip inside showing Hall in action.

Spaniels Do Not Like Auburn

2007-09-25T20:05:00.000-05:00

This dog is probably named Bear...

http://loserswithsocks.com/2007/09/20/bammer-dog-video/

2007-09-24T16:33:00.000-05:00

1. LSU- Battle for the Tiger Towel...
2. USC- I'm usually to tired and drunk to watch their games at night
3.Oklahoma- I got nothing clever this week, cuz I mean, its Oklahoma what is there to say?
4. WVU- Upset this week? I wouldn't be surprised
5.Florida- Ole Miss? Really? No, seriously....Ole Miss?
6. Cal- Quack, Quack, Quack, Quack
7. Wisconsin- My God their games are boring.
8. Texas- I'm not going to lie, I haven't seen them play either
9. Oregon- God their uniforms are awful
10. Kentucky- Who would have guessed this?

Game of the Week

2007-09-19T19:00:00.000-05:00

Georgia Bulldogs at Alabama Crimson Tide
7:45 ET on ESPN and ESPN 360

In best match up of the week Mark Richt brings his team in to play ~~God 's~~ Nick Saban's fighting Elephants at Bryant-Denny Stadium. Alabama is coming off of a big time win last week against Arkansas while Georgia is still recovering from a thumping two weeks ago against the Ole Ball Coach. Two teams whose fan bases believe they are going in opposite directions, but things are never as good as they seem or as bad as they seem in the world of college football.

Matthew Stafford recovered from the South Carolina game last week against Western Carolina going 14 for 20 with 2 touchdown passes in a winning effort. In order to win running back Thomas Brown is going to have to step up his 47 yard a game out put over the first three games of the season. Wide receiver Sean Bailey needs to live up to the big play potential he had coming out of high school as well.

All a viewer needs to know about Alabama is that ~~God~~ Nick Saban is still their coach and John Parker Wilson has not cut his hair. The Crimson Tide is rolling and nothing can stop them...

....except the Georgia Bulldogs. Stafford will have a game that solidifies him at the quarterback in the eyes' of the Dawg faithful with Baily helping him out all day long. Terry Grant will be held to under 75 yards by the Georgia defense and a maligned secondary will keep D.J. Hall in check. Georgia leads from start to finish bringing the Tide faithful back down to earth beating the Alabama 31-13.

Maybe Nick Saban is not God...

Rankings for Dummies

2007-09-19T12:22:00.000-05:00

1. LSU- Beat those cocks Cajuns
2. USC- Not even Moses could have parted the Red Sea as easily
3.Oklahoma- I'm still waiting for the Texas game
4. WVU- Hopefully they do better then Va Tech against the ECU Butt Pirates
5.Florida- Look up classless and you'll see Coach Urban
6. Cal- Their special teams are actually special. (not short bus special)
7. Wisconsin- Wow, I was joking about the upset, but I was almost right
8. Texas- Rice? Do they have a chance?
9. Penn State- Lloyd Carr gets back on the hot seat.
10. Bama- I don't know bout this one, but I just like them right now

Archie Who?

2007-09-17T23:16:00.000-05:00

Tennessee at Ole Miss - 1969 - Vintage Son

Even though Archie Manning is doing UPS commercials now this is still impressive.

Segal Goes to Glory Days

2007-09-17T20:53:00.000-05:00

Last Christmas break Robbie and Segal walked into Glory Days Grill and sat down at the bar. The bar manager yells over to them, "Segal, you ran up a 50 dollar bill last night. You gonna pay your tab anytime soon?"

Segal is dumbfounded and tells the manager that he just got back from school today. In fact, he took a final last night. The manager tells Segal that he's full of crap. By then his bartender over hears the argument and she backs up Segal saying, "No that was definitely not the Segal from the other night. That guy must have given you a fake name." Dumbfounded the male bartender just stands thinking for a second.

Then Robbie suggests a solution to the bar mystery saying, "Next time that fella comes in here claiming to be Segal take him out back in the parking lot and hit him three fly balls. If he catches any of them then you'll definitely know that it ain't Segal."

Game of the Week

2007-09-15T10:10:00.000-05:00

Notre Dame Fighting Irish at Michigan Wolverines
3:30 pm ABC

In a somewhat odd choice, this is not a match up of undefeateds rather this is match up of defeateds. After today, one of these teams will be 0-3 and if it is Lloyd Carr his job is officially in jeopardy. The quietest 110,000 person crowd you will ever hear will have something to cheer for as Notre Dame's offense has been nothing less than impotent this season against their first two opponents. In those games against Penn State and Georgia Tech the Irish are yet to score a touchdown. Both teams will be starting true freshmen quarterbacks in the Irish's Jimmy Clausen and Michigan's Ryan Mallet.

Both were highly prized recruits coming out of high school in California and Texas respectively. They also been thrown into action earlier than expected, taking their lumps. We have Michigan winning though due to a better offensive line and running back at his disposal. That running back Mike Hart will run over the the Irish defense in rout to a 24-6 win.

It will be the third straight game in which the Irish do not score a touchdown under offensive genius Charlie Weiss. It will also get more people asking about why there is no talk of Weiss' impending departure as there was with Tyronne Willingham three years ago. Lloyd Carr will live to play another week though his seat will remain the hottest in college football.

Beamer Ball on the Bayou

2007-09-11T21:31:00.000-05:00

In case you missed it the Virginia Tech Hokies were only able to score seven points against the Chinese Bandits from LSU in a loss which would be politically incorrect to appropriately describe. Sean Glennon who was quarterbacking the team is now going to be replaced by all Iverson/Vick freshman Tyrod Taylor.

Tyrod under center in Lane Stadium. That's about right.

It is nice to see the Hokies come back down to earth after an off season where they came in over hyped due to off the field events that had nothing to do with sports. The Hokies were barely able to beat barely I-A East Carolina University two weekends ago but people were expecting them to go to LSU and handle the Tigers? We realize Les Miles still coaches the Tigers but that does not make them that bad...

Watch out for the upset special the next two weeks. The Chokies are playing Ohio University and William and Mary University and you heard it here first, they will lose one of those games.

Why? Karma. Tyrod wears Marcus Vick's old number 5. Glennon wears Michael Vick's 'retired' number 7. We won't even start on the topic of Vick's number being retired but still being worn tonight. I have work in the morning.

Aggies are Dogbitten

2007-09-11T19:39:00.000-05:00

Reveille, Texas A&M's collie mascot, was not allowed to participate in game day activities Saturday after snapping at her handler earlier in the week. The dog was went after the handler after he stepped on her tail. This suspense and subsequent quarantine are a little much for the dog. Take away her milkbone for the night maybe but any dog that does not go after you when you step on her tail probably can not even breed without help.

Hopefully she will be back in time for the big time match up against Louisiana Monroe Saturday. It would be a bitch to go another game without her.

Texas Tee Shirts Can Be Hazardous

2007-09-11T19:12:00.000-05:00

A thirty-two year old Texas fan literally had his balls ripped out of his 'sack' at a bar in Oklahoma City over the weekend. MSNBC terms it as 'near castration.' Why did this happen you may ask? Well, he had the audacity to wear a shirt showing his school pride into a bar in Oklahoma. That's a no-no.

As you can imagine he was heckled and allegedly yelled back before a fifty-three year old Sooner fan attacked him. Instead of throwing punches the Sooner got right down to business grabbing the Texan's scrotum and would not let go till the rumble was over. At this point his testicles were outside of his 'sack' and the doctors at the hospital were able to sew him up sixty stitches later.

The Sooner fan that attacked has been charged with assault and faces a lot of time in prison. This is one trial where the worst thing you could do is ask for a change of venue if you are that Sooner fan. If this trial stays in Oklahoma, north of the Red River, there is no chance of a conviction. An Oklahoma fan being convicted of assault on a Texas fan in Oklahoma City would be like a Georgian inviting General Sherman to a nice Sunday dinner. Not happening. Good luck with that case Mr. District Attorney.

Power Rankings

2007-09-10T11:31:00.000-05:00

1. LSU- How can they not be number 1?
2. USC- Needed a break after the close win against the Vandals
3. WVU- Why did you have to tease Marshall?
4. Florida- Getting tired of Tebow jokes yet?
5.Oklahoma- Sooner or later they will play a worthy team. (NPI)
6. L'Ville- Just holding out until Nov. 8th
7. Wisconsin- I'm predicting they lose next week....
8. Cal- It actually wasn't as close as it looked
9. Texas-I was cheering for TCU
10. Penn State- Made the youngest Clausen look like the others
Other Vote Receivers: Michigan...Nah, just kidding they are terrible

Go Rebeeeeeeels

2007-09-06T22:18:00.000-05:00

A classic from ESPN Radio's Chris Vernon. Enjoy

Richt To Leave UGA

2007-09-06T21:44:00.000-05:00

In an announcement late Thursday night Mark Richt has told local media that he was fired earlier in the evening by the athletic director. The University of Georgia claimed they needed a coach to put some more fight in UGA and preceded to hire former Va Tech star Michael Vick to take over head coaching duties for the Bulldogs.

And the dog is in the kennel...

Herri-Ju Poll

2007-09-03T11:17:00.000-05:00

1. USC- After Nebraska they have it on easy street...
2. LSU- Cajuns don't know or care what a hokie is.
3. WVU- No challenges until late October
4. Florida- Tebow is running for Heismen, but Florida natives voted for Buchanan because the ballot was confusing.
5.Wisconsin- Wait? What happened to Michigan? Looks like the Big-10 got a little easier
6. L'Ville- They don't even a have a chance to lose until December...
7. Oklahoma- Can they blow away the Cane's this week? (NPI)
8. Cal- What was up with the hippies in the trees?
9. Texas-Ark State? Really?...no like really?
10. UGA- Woof, Woof, Woof
Other Vote Getters- App. State,

Cal Tree Huggers/Campers

2007-09-03T11:06:00.000-05:00

As you saw on ESPN during the coverage of the UT - Cal game, people live in trees in Berkeley. Below is a piece of literature their friends on the ground passed out to explain why they live in trees that should not be cut down.

SEVEN REASONS WHY THE OAK GROVE SHOULD NOT BE DESTROYED

1. It is a Native American burial ground. Native American remains were found at the site in 1923 when the stadium was being built. UC Berkley tried to hide this from the public but documentation was leaked by a conscious UCB employee.

2. It is a World War I Memorial site. The stadium and the Oak Grove are named in honor of Californians who died in World War I.

3. Berkeley City Law prohibits removing mature Coast Live Oaks. Coast Live Oaks are Protected Heritage Trees in the City of Berkeley. If UCB, the largest landowner in Berkeley, doesn't have to follow city ordinances, why should anyone else have to?

4. The new proposed development is adjacent to the (recently active) Hayward Fault. Since the tree-sit started on Dec. 2 there have been seven earthquakes (ranging from 2.0-4.2 on the Richter scale) on the Hayward fault which runs directly under Memorial Stadium.

5. There are four lawsuits against UC Berkeley. A diverse group of institutions and organizations; the City of Berkeley, California Oaks Foundation, Panoramic Hill Association and Save Tightwad Hill are challenging the proposed development as being in violation of various regulations including CEQA (California Envoironmental Quality Air Act), the Alquist-Priolo Act (earthquake fault proximity), and laws regarding emergency access and response requirements.

6. Global Warming is the biggest problem we face today. Cutting down old Oak (and other trees accellerates warming and climate change. Replacing these trees with saplings does not come close to replacing the bio-mass lost.

7. There are other viable alternative sites for the facility. The athletic training facility can be built at Maxwell Field, with the playing surface maintained above. The parking lot at Bancroft/Fulton is another option. A third option is the building at 2223 Fulton St., which is in need of demolition. A further option is expansion at the Edwards Field site. These are only some of the many alternatives to building at Oak Grove.

WE CAN HAVE NEW GYMS AND OLD GROWTH

Damn Commies.

Will Somebody Pull the Plug on Holtz?

2007-08-31T16:49:00.000-05:00

ESPN's application test;

1. Are you old as hell?
2. Do you have a speech problem?
3. Are you biased towards teams that are terrible?
4. Don't know anything about football?
5. Been fired from a crappy school like South Carolina?

If you have answered yes to all of these questions then you get the job!

No wonder Lou Holtz has a job talking about College Football. The other day Lou Holtz was rambling something about football and Notre Dame was brought up. Surprise Surprise, Holtz wouldn't shut his old ass mouth up about them. He made the bold claim that they would win 10, yes folks, 10 games this year. Who is their quarterback again? Oh right, nobody knows, nor do I care. Lou just go home and jerk off to leprechauns in the privacy of your own home and leave your biased opinions off the air. And tell Mark May to shut up about L'Ville while your at it.

The Rankings, The Way it Should Be

2007-08-30T16:04:00.001-05:00

AP this, Coaches that. No, this is the true ranking system. The Herri-Ju (Hairy Jew) poll is actually BCS affiliated, but we vote for a playoff system. So for the first week here is the polls.

1. USC- Damn yuppies
2. LSU- Tonight they help Sylvester Croom find a new job.
3. WVU- Who needs defense when your quarterback can't be caught.
4. Florida- Tim Tebow has already won the Heisman
5. Texas- Gonna burn Ark. State...(NPI)
6. Michigan- Appalachian State? Where the hell is that state?
7. Wisc- WASU is a tricky team...
8. L'Ville- Petrino wishes he was still here
9. Oklahoma- Gonna beat the wrong Texas on Saturday.
10. Tenn.- Biggest Game this weekend to prove themselves

New polls come out on Monday or tuesday, or whenever I feel like it. Deal

SEC Game of the Week

2007-08-30T14:25:00.000-05:00

As much as I wanted to pick Western Carolina at Alabama as the game of the week that would not have been fair to anyone outside of Tuscaloosa. So here it is...

Tennessee Volunteers at California Golden Bears
8 p.m. EST ABC National Coverage

The California Golden Bears say they will be seeking revenge in Berkley Saturday night with the Tennessee Vols coming to town. The Vols jumped out to a 35-0 lead last year before taking out their starters. By midway through the third quarter the Golden Bears were playing for a lost cause, hardly knowing what had hit them. Back up quarterback Joe Ayoob replacing starter Nate Longshore who was yanked while his team still had an egg on the scoreboard. Ayoob and strategy helped Cal team put up 18 points after the game was over, saving face in the box scores printed in the newspapers. That strategy did not go over well with Vol Coach Phillip Fulmer, as he watched Cal continue to attempt onside kicks with less than five minutes to go.

All off season coach Jeff Tedford and quarterback Nate Longshore have been talking the talk now they will have to walk the walk. The hostile SEC environment was something the Bears had never experienced before. In addition Starbucks is not served in the stands at Neyland Stadium and neither is sushi; that has to be tough to get used to for the fans from Berkley. Tedford was reportedly sickened by the loss in Knoxville that he threw up after he got off of the return plane to Berkley. That same Cal team did go on to pick up the pieces and collect a share of the PAC 10 conference championship. But do they honestly believe they can beat the same team that slaughtered them last year?

I think it is a stretch to think that either team will blow out the other this year. The Vols at last check are a 6 point underdog and have historically pulled off some big upsets when they are large underdogs on the road. Erik Ainge has a broken finger on his throwing hand, running back LaMarcus Coker is suspended, punter Britton Colquitt has a pulled quad, the Vols have to fly three time zones away and have to fight off a reported 50,000 noise makers that Cal plans to give out to their fans.

The Golden Bears have 165 pound stud receiver DeSean Jackson, a proven running back in Justin Forsett and have even almost sold out their stadium. Imagine that, selling out a stadium against a ranked team. The Golden Bears lost their top three defensive players from last year and will have to replace much of their front seven.

Everyone seems to be stacking their chips against the Vols in this one and that is why they will pull it out in the land of the tree huggers. Ainge will have a great game, though not necessarily put up huge numbers, making people question whether Fulmer was just putting up a smoke screen with the injury talk. Arian Foster will return to his home state and tear through the relatively inexperienced Cal defense hitting the century mark in yards with his bruising style. Longshore will not get in a rhythm as the Vols defense will throw him off his game again early. Defensive tackles J.T. Mapu and Demonte Bolden will play surprisingly well holding down Forsett. Tough, close game but the Vols hold on for the win .

Prediction:

Vols 28 Golden Bears 20

Bryant Lives

2007-08-29T22:34:00.000-05:00

We knew that the Bear didn't die January 26, 1983...

Fantasy Football Rules

2007-08-27T16:17:00.000-05:00

Here is J Dredd's guide to Fantasy Football.

Rule #1: You don't know sh*t about drafting Fantasy Football. Think you are king of the draft? Wrong. Mel Kiper has a better chance then you. The thing is yes the first 2 rounds are easy to pick, but honestly it's just a gamble after that. People during my draft criticized every pick like they had inside information. "Do you even watch football?!??!!1?". Yes, shut up. Remember last year when people said the same thing when I drafted Joseph Addai and Maurice Jones Drew? That turned out pretty well for me in the long run.

Rule #2: I don't know sh*t about drafting Fantasy Football. I'm not going to pretend I know what I'm doing. After 2 rounds I don't care who is on my team. I just pick what's needed usually on the basis of who I hate the least, which limits the list pretty quick.

The only thing that matters is managing the team during the season. Injuries, and suspensions, and the occasional felonies are the things you need to keep a look out for. Smack talking is fun in the games, but come on get off your high horse and embrace the fact that you'll be working 9-5 until you die. Enjoy it.

Get Ready For Football in Blacksburg

2007-08-26T17:47:00.000-05:00

Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler are heading to Virginia Tech to see the Hokies play the first game in their paltry schedule. Hopefully Erin Andrews will be doing an expose on the dog fighting that goes on behind the the veterinary school and why Michael Vick's number is retired but current players still wear it. Enter Hokie Football.

Arkansas Lineman Arrested in Fayetteville

2007-08-26T15:34:00.001-05:00

Arkansas lineman Marcus Harrison was suspended indefinitely from the team after being arrested on multiple charges Friday night. Police claim that Harrison had an ecstasy pill in his pocket, a couple of marijuana cigars, was speeding and most alarming was not wearing his seat belt.

Harrison was an effective performer for the Hogs last year when healthy but has battled injuries his whole career at Arkansas. He was hoping for a breakout season in 2007 but that will be put on hold for now as Harrison will at best not play in the opener for the Razorbacks.

Antics like this may get you suspended in Arkansas but will earn you a scholarship from Urban Meyer at Florida. Maybe he ought to think about transferring, Houston Nutt won't even make him sit out a year.

Coker Reinstated to Team

2007-08-26T15:17:00.000-05:00

Tennessee running back LaMarcus Coker has been reinstated to the Vols after 'fulfilling obligations' according to Coach Phillip Fulmer. Coker was originally suspended from the team just after returning to school for fall practice for a reported violation of the school's drug policy. Coker attended counseling and reportedly talked to the team apologizing for his actions warning players not to make the same mistakes that he made in the future.

Despite being reinstated to the team Coker will be not be allowed to play the California game. He will likely be on the scout squad mimicking California running back Justin Forsett in practice. Coker will be eligible to return for the Southern Miss game September 8.

More Lawsuit Fun From the Instigator State

2007-08-20T19:03:00.000-05:00

South Carolina inmate Jonathan Lee Riches is at it again filing another lawsuit against high profile sports figures. This lawsuit, which is for $42,000,000 in Swiss Francs, accuses Barry Bonds and Bud Selig of trying to increase television ratings and revenue through using steroids.

According to Riches, Selig was Sammy Sosa's puppet for the better part of the last decade. He also argues that Bonds uses Hank Aaron's old bat which contains hidden chambers that supply drugs. Bonds not only carries drugs in his bats he also sells them to nuns allegedly. Instead of having the money delivered to his South Carolina prison in this lawsuit, Riches wants the money delivered to a Des Monies, Iowa postal box if he wins this judgment.

It should be interesting to see who Mr. Riches goes after next. He attacked the biggest villain in sports last week and now is attacking the second biggest villain this week so one might think his work is done. We don't think so; he is going after Matt Millen next before firing a posthumous suit against the notorious Tyrus Raymond Cobb. To Detroit and victory!

Vick Suit Alleges Al Queda Ties

2007-08-14T21:59:00.001-05:00

So now Michael Vick is being linked to Al Queda (allegedly) by a South Carolina inmate in his $63 billion dollar lawsuit against the Hampton Roads, Virginia product. Jonathan Lee Riches seems pretty adamant that Vick stole his pit bulls, sold them on Ebay and then sent the proceeds to Iran after he became a member of Al Queda in February. The crazy thing about this is if it is true, animal rights activists would still claim that killing dogs is worse than supporting a country that is now helping to fund the insurgency in Iraq.

It does beg the question - if one member of the Virginia Tech football team is a member of Al Queda, could there be others? I'm not suggesting anything, but Al Queda is known to work hard on special teams....

Wrong Hander Day '07 is a Poor One for Vick

2007-08-13T21:51:00.000-05:00

Assuming you are a normal person you would think today is just another hot muggy dog day at the end of summer in August. If your hand of choice is not the right hand though, today just might be your day, a 'special' day. August 13 is International Lefthander Day and that is just not right. As it has been proven in Lithuania, all wrong handers are of inferior skills both mentally and physically. An indisputable fact. Still wrong handed birds are celebrating in different ways across our nation.

Wrong hander Rick Ankiel celebrated today on his first off day since hitting three bombs in his first four games after getting back to the majors. He probably got a porterhouse steak at Ruth's Chris steakhouse tonight. Bill Clinton was happy to take a day off after his wife won the Iowa Straw Poll. Bill probably is kicking it with some girls from the Clinton School of Public Service at the pool as I type. Michael Vick, well, he didn't have the best Wrong Handed Day. He found out all three of the people that he was charged with in his dog fighting debacle are going to cooperate with federal authorities and will testify against him. Worst Wrong Hander Day EVER!

Vick was a horrible wrong hander long before he started electrocuting dogs, throwing dogs, strangling dogs or even shooting dogs. It looks as though karma is finally catching up to him. Right now Ron Mexico is talking to his lawyer saying, 'Man I can go to jail, I just can't end up like Andy Dufresne in that one scene in the laundry room. That ain't Hokie man. Negotiate that shit.' I'm sure you will have good luck with negotiations now that you got at least seven people ready to testify against you Mr. Vick. Good luck you frappin' wrong hander.

ESPN won't even show the dreaded 'Quarterback Challenge' due to that dang wrong hander now either. Leave it to the network to pile on.

A Victory For The Rebels!

2007-08-09T21:39:00.000-05:00

The Ole Miss practice had two new additions Thursday as Rivals five star recruit Jerrell Powe and four star recruit Chris Strong joined the team after being admitted to the university. There is a fourteen day window where they can practice while the NCAA Clearinghouse reviews each recruit's status where after they must declare them eligible or ineligible. Both recruits happen to be famous in their own right before they have even stepped onto the field in Oxford.

A defensive tackle, Powe orginally committed to Ole Miss in 2005 but was unable to qualify academically. The next year he went to a BYU correspondence school and Hargrave Military academy which was enough education to try to get into Ole Miss again and he recommitted. Powe, who has been called a 'ready for the NFL caliber player,' did not become notorious until newspapers got a hold of court documents in a suit that was being filed on his behalf to attain NCAA eligibility. In the documents Powe's mother described her son saying, "Jerrell is a good child, he just can't read." Since this isn't Auburn where reading is not a necessity this raised some eyebrows amongst the Ole Miss administration and the NCAA. That being said it is horrible that Jerrell has been pushed along and used for his talent without people taking the time to lookout for his best interests educationally. If he had more help in his past he would not be in this current situation.

Chris Strong's story is not nearly as dramatic as Powe's but it's been a roller coaster ride in it's own right. He committed to the Rebels in January but needed to raise his test scores up to qualify. It appears now that he has done that. Strong is from Mississippi powerhouse South Panola High School and is projected to play at defensive end or linebacker for the Rebels. Chris has strong family ties to the Grove will be crossing his fingers that he makes it through the Clearinghouse in the next two weeks.

This brings up an interesting situation for the Rebels. Given Coach O's propensity for moving top flight players around it seems doubtful that these two will finish their careers at the position they begin at. Robert Lane came to Ole Miss as a Rivals four star recruit but after ineffective play the Rebels have moved him to tight end. Brent Schaeffer transfered in as a Rivals five star recruit and was anointed as Moses ready to lead the Rebels to the promised land. It hasn't quite worked out for for the quarterback though and he now finds himself at wide receiver. A walk-on is currently starting behind center for the Rebs.

Given past history we are going to project that Powe will end up as the first 350 pound safety in the SEC while Strong will be the highest drafted kicker since Sebastian Janikowski. Take it to the bank!

On another note Tyrone Prothro had better be happy that Powe wasn't the defensive back coming down on his leg.

Bear Gets Tough With The Sideline Reporter

2007-08-08T21:23:00.000-05:00

Erin Andrews would not have bothered the Bear with this moronic line of questions....

Coker Suspended From Team

2007-08-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

Vols' running back LaMarcus Coker has been suspended indefinitely by the University of Tennessee due to substance abuse issues. Thankfully that substance according to sources has nothing to do with his last name. Coker will have to meet a number of conditions to be reinstated to the football team.

Coker the leading rusher last season for Tennessee was expected to vie for a majority of the carries this season. He was described often as 'the big play back' in the offense who had broken multiple long runs in the 2006 season. Instead it looks as though those carries will now be split between 2005 leading rusher bruiser Arian Foster and Montario Hardesty who is fully recovered from knee surgery after struggling through his last season.

Racist? No, Just Stupid

2007-08-07T15:43:00.000-05:00

J Dredd is back, and he's pissed. After scanning espn.com an article caught my eye, "Mistrust." and it said Mike Vick so I checked it out. Never have I been so angry at an inanimate object since I lost in NCAA 08 and threw my Xbox. A wrinkly old hag dares to say that Vick is being treated unequally in Atlanta because he is black. She completely ignores the fact that he is being tried in Virginia, not Georgia, but for the sake of argument I'll humor her.

Apparently after the situation broke on the news, the NAACP was called in to make an ordinary situation one about race. The chairman is quoted "The one thing that I say is everyone is welcome to their opinion," he says. "But my opinion is this: Unless a person has a trial, he is not guilty of anything. That is the fabric of our country."

Wow Detective Dipsh*t. Thanks for telling me that this is your opinion because I am too stupid to figure it out. Also nice intro to the quote. Thanks for embracing the fact I can state opinions. I needed you to welcome me to them, ass. And when was he proved guilty? I'm pretty sure I would have thrown a party if they made that announcement. Glad to see that the NAACP has hired the best man for the job.

Also in the article "African-Americans in Atlanta, according to prominent black leaders, think it's about Vick not getting due process because of the color of his skin.". What due process is not being done? He was accused, they gathered evidence, he is in court. Sounds like due process to me. Also whats up with the fact they say "African American" and then the leaders are just "black". What happened to PC? I guess that was racist of the writer.

Hey NAACP, choose battles better. Bitch about something that is really racist and stop trying to piss and moan about everything. Vick's skin color is not the problem. It's the fact he lets sleeping dogs lie, and by lie I mean kill them with electricity.

Oh and about the picture, it's the protest rally in Atlanta that is in favor of keeping Vick as Falcons quarterback. Nice turn out, almost as nice as the 9,957,531 people that were with PETA against Vick across the country. Keep up the good work NAACP.

Top Duke Football Player Suspended

2007-08-06T20:04:00.000-05:00

If there was ever an oxymoron to come across this blog that title sure is one. The so called top player referred to is Dukie Michael Tauiliili who was suspended 'indefinitely' by the athletic department Sunday. In the case of an LSU player this only means he would be out until Fall practice starts but with the Dukies it will probably be a little different. The suspension was for a violation of team rules and at this point we can only speculate on those reasons so we'll go ahead and do that below.

- Perhaps Tauiliili took money from Mike Nifong, only the Rainbow Push Coalition would take his money these days.
- He might have been asking Ian Johnson why he would ever want to marry a cheerleader

- Punishment after the administration found out he had realized he was on the football team at DUKE and tried to transfer to Rowan where he'd actually be playing after Thanksgiving. Hell even New Jersey is better than Duke athletics and a campus that looks eerily like the one Ron Mexico's.
- Could discrimination against alleged mungions be occurring in front of our eyes?

Who knows the real story but its likely that Duke will be finding a way to lose 13 this year without Tauiliili. That's even impressive for the Dukies seeing that they are only playing 12 games.

Al Gore Does Not Approve This Message

2007-08-03T18:00:00.000-05:00

Ole Miss head coach Ed Orgeron is legendary, at least he's legendary in Layfayette County Mississippi. At the first team meeting he ad as a coach at Ole Miss, Coach O challenged everyone in the locker room to fight while ripping off his shirt. He followed that up my laying out the former starting quarterback in a full sprint during practice in his first summer in Oxford. Since then he has managed to keep his job despite his poor record in which he has never beaten an SEC team with a winning record. Yet somehow manages to be the coach that saved the Rebels from Cutcliffe's poor recruiting in the minds of the Oxford faithful. (Rebel fans conveniently forget Cut brought in Eli Manning) This commercial is a solid reminder of why Coach Orgeron will not have a job at Christmas this year. A 2-10 record won't cut it, even at Ole Miss. The students have never lost a party but Coach O is about to lose his job.

I'm just not sure about the "Big, tough, aggressive and it represents everything we want at Ole Miss," line. When I think of Ole Miss football I think more of a present day Kia or an old Yugo, not a Hummer. That might just be me though...

Segal the .400 Hitter

2007-08-01T20:41:00.000-05:00

So back in his freshman year of college at St. Mary's College of Maryland Chris Segal was hitting .400 but still only starting about every third game on the baseball team. After the first two weeks of the season Segal went into Manager Lew Jenkins' office to find out why he was not receiving anymore playing time.

"Coach I just don't understand why I'm not playing; I'm hitting .400," Segal explained.
"Hell you might be a .400 hitter, but you're a .399 fielder," Jenkins countered.

Powerful Arrest

2007-08-01T19:29:00.000-05:00

Indiana University's Blake Powers was arrested after throwing a water balloon into the car of an off duty university cop. Powers is a back up tight end for the HOOSIERS but his name is recognizable as he used to play some quarterback for the Big Eleven team.

Its a good thing for that cop that he was up in Big Eleven country because if he was in the SEC and attempted to arrest a football player for throwing a water balloon he would not have a job for long. I can't see Urban Meyer punishing a player for chucking a water balloon, in fact if he had the same situation where a former quarterback nailed a cop from car to car he would see it as a sign and move the player back to quarterback. This would not be before he made sure the cop was blacklisted in Northern Florida.

On another note you do not want to throw water balloons at Mormon football players' wives or girlfriends.

Va Tech Administration Has Problems Handling Tough Situations

2007-07-28T11:34:00.000-05:00

Reebok has stopped selling Michael Vick jerseys. Nike has suspended its contract with Vick. NFLShop.com has stopped selling everything from jerseys to Vick bobble heads. Still you can find as many Michael Vick jerseys that you want in Blacksburg, Virginia.

In this article from the Roanoke times the author is arguing that the dog fighting and Va Tech should not be linked which is absolutely ridiculous. The athletic department is not addressing the topic but they were more than happy to address the topic of Vick on the cover of Madden in the past. This is really absurd. If Peyton Manning, the player everyone associates the University of Tennessee with, did something bad in the eyes of the public you can be sure that Phillip Fulmer would not be cowardly enough as to not address the issue. If Matt Leinart or Carson Palmer got into trouble while riding in a car with Chris Henry and it became public knowledge it would be guaranteed that Pete Carroll would speak to the media about it. This is another example of the Va Tech Athletic Department, and more to the point - Frank Beamer, not living in reality. There is a reason that you team is ranked the number one thug program all time per S. Judge and the title is well deserved.

Here are a couple of sites you can also buy Vick items:

http://www.neutersickvick.com/MichaelVick.html

https://community.hsus.org/campaign/US_2007_dogfighting_nfl2?qp_source=gaba66&gclid=CPGL5dfayo0CFR8TOAodFHfuLQ

Harold, It Feels Like Its Been a Lifetime

2007-07-25T21:04:00.000-05:00

A year ago tomorrow morning I got a text message while settling into my cube in Atlanta. My friend Ernie was trying to alert me that my main nemeses in life, Harold Reynolds, had been dismissed from his job. I refused to believe it. Then another text came in came from minor league personality Segal and I decided to check it out, still not believing that Reynolds had reached his day of reckoning. But sure enough, the blogs were reporting that H.R. was out of work. Victory was mine.

The two time Gold Glove winner has now been off of ESPN broadcasts for a year as he was indeed fired year ago today, July 25, 2006. Reynolds is currently suing the television network over the dismissal which he claims was without merit. It was reported that Harold was fired over an 'inappropriate hug' that occurred at an Outback Steakhouse just prior to his termination. This hug is in dispute.

But looking back on it I have realized that I lost. I lost big time. I will be the first to say I miss the bumbling H.R. and yes, I entered the 'Spend a Day With Harold Reynolds Contest' in 2005. I have an Orioles personalized throwback jersey with 'Reynolds 6' on the back of it. I also know that in his only year with the O's in 1993 Harold wore two numbers, 6 and 25. I now will admit I was a fan.

Reynolds was a lightening rod for controversy (at least in my circles) with his commentary often being controversial (in my circles) and difficult to understand (in my circles) on Baseball Tonight which he teamed with John Kruk as the two most dynamic personalities of the show. ESPN has tried many talking heads in an attempt to replace Harold on Baseball Tonight since then, but no one has been able to have the on air chemistry that he possessed with the Krukster. Harold also was a manager on the ESPN hyped celebrity all-star softball game and gave kid friendly broadcasts of the Little League World Series in addition to his duties on Baseball Tonight.

Good luck to Harold on his new job with MLB.com, selling his coaching videos and his 5 million dollar lawsuit against ESPN. We just hope that if he testifies in his trial that someone will give the jury a copy of what he said because Lord knows there is no way they will understand what he's saying.

On that card pictured above Harold notes the following verse from the book of Jeremiah 29:11 "I alone have the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future full of hope."

The United States of America v. Michael Vick

2007-07-22T18:13:00.000-05:00

In the last week we have watched in delight as events have unfolded in the People versus Michael Vick a.k.a. 'Ron Mexico' a.k.a. 'Ookie'. (Here is the whole 18 page indictment from The Smoking Gun) Polls show over 80 percent of people want him in jail if he did this and he faces up to six years in jail if convicted. People who have never followed football in their life now know he is a bad person who will be judged one day for his actions.

A couple of thoughts:

Its hilarious that Vick's dogfighter name 'Ookie' has an eerie resemblance to Hokie. I always thought a Hokie was a castrated turkey, not a dogfighter. Guess you learn something everyday.

According to the document Vick and his cronies killed dogs by hosing them down then electrocuting them, hanging them, shooting them and throwing them on the ground repeatedly. I guess Vick can miss wide open receivers but he can't miss the ground when tossing dogs. Well you never know, his completion percentage last year was 52.6%.

Pacman is in trouble mainly for being an idiot (oh yeah and that one tussle when a man was paralyzed) but this is so much worse.

Until the weekend you could still buy an 'Ookie' customized Falcons jersey at NFLShop.com. Ron Mexico was taken off the shelf immediately after that suit became public knowledge so its surprising it took the NFL a couple of days this time.

This isn't a local prosecutor going for attention like in the Duke Lacrosse Scandal or the Kobe Bryant Debacle. Uncle Sam's lawyers will not prosecute without a solid case.

College Gameday will probably be focusing on the tragic shooting when they arrive in Blacksburg September 1st. We don't expect a lot of shots of their captain from the Hokies' glory year of 1999.

Vick was betting thousands of dollars per fight on these dogs. Suppose on top of his NFL salary he made $10 million last year (in endorsements - not including dogfight winnings) which would put his total earnings at about $18.4 million. He gave $10,000 to the Va Tech Victims Relief Fund. If a person earning $50,000 a year gave that amount he would only be giving $27.17. So he could afford to fight a lot of dogs and doing this was more important than helping out his alma mater in its time of need.

How the hell do you get involved with dog fighting in the first place? I can't imagine watching the Iron Bowl with one of my friends and it just coming up in casual conversation. "Hey Cox is throwing all over us again this year. Lets get out of hear and head down to Byhalia. One of my boys got his pitbull in the ring tonight. He's fighting a dalmatian, its gonna be a blood bath."

12th Street Chatter - Awareness 99

2007-07-16T20:37:00.001-05:00

Tonight is Christmas Eve for many who can't wait to get their hands on EA Sports' NCAA Football 2008 which is officially in stores tomorrow. This year the cover boy is former Boise State quarterback Jared Zabransky who is struggling to make the Houston Texan's roster currently. The game play has allegedly been improved greatly on 360 and this will be the first year that the game will be offered on PS3. Can't wait to see it on my HD television.

Here is some inside information from our source who tested the game out in California has given us some top secret information on the game's ratings.

Brent Schaeffer - Speed 89, Threating With Bats 98, Awareness 39
Virginia Tech Quarterbacks - Animal Rights 37, Stomping on Opponents' Knees 94
Urban Meyer - Tough Stand on Discipline 40
Les Miles - Speaking When Should Be Learning to Read 89
Clemson Tailgate Experience - 99
Matthew Stafford - Strength 67, Keg Lifting Strength 84
Charlie Weis - NFL Bound 88, Screwed by the Clausen Family 90
Ole Miss - Winning Tradition 36
Mississippi State - Cowbells 99
UGA the Bulldog - 36 Overall
Vanderbilt - Band 42, Cheerleaders 36, Athletic Department 0
Spurrier - Awareness 97, Under Armour Commercials 56
Tim Tebow - Jump Passes 77, Popularity 97, Injury 45 (will miss start by November)
Tuberville - Strength of Schedule 42, Whining 92
Alabama - Reality 36, RVs 99, Worshiping False Idols 88
Houston Nutt - Job Security 45, Awareness with Reporters 73
Eric Berry - Choice of Numbers 43
Red Georgia Pants - 44

Pretty accurate ratings it looks like.

The Pacman Profiled

2007-07-12T22:52:00.001-05:00

I am in the processing of moving, something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy, so I'll make this short.

Pacman's lawyer has complained to the media that the deputy that cited Pacman Jones for a residency violation and not having registered his vehicle in Tennessee was "out to get him." Personally I don't think that it should be against policy of the any police department to turn away when Pacman is around.

Who are some other clients this lawyer be against profiling..... Hmmmm, Al Capone, John Wayne Gacy, Bugsy Siegel, The Juice, Richard Ramirez, Otis Nixon, Dr. Jones, Marcus Vick, and DMX he's got a been through the court system a few times.

Bradshaw Takes On Sunspehere

2007-07-08T15:37:00.000-05:00

Dane Bradshaw was the underdog once again in Knoxville on the Fourth of July when he went toe to toe with the Sunsphere on America's Birthday. Dane went down a zip wire from the top of the 1982 World's Fair structure to the ground 266 feet below and survived. The Sunsphere reopened July 5 for the first time in years to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of the World's Fair coming to Knoxville. Proceeds from the entrance fees to the Sunsphere will go to restoration of the amphitheater and upkeep of the park. Dane's high wire act kicked off the celebration while also promoting his book, "Vertical Leap."

For the purposes of full disclosure I am told that I hit the Sunsphere with a potato on Good Friday in 2003 from the Clinch Street bridge. That's a potato cannon of an arm...

Oregon State Playing Catch Up

2007-07-08T12:36:00.000-05:00

Oregon State has continued the state of Oregon Cold Waresque race in the effort to build up the ugliest uniform stash the universe has ever seen. The Beavers recently unveiled their new uniforms for the upcoming season designed by Nike and they are almost as bad as Oregon's now. The X in across the top of the chest is just plain ugly, worse than those uniforms with the one sleeve that Va Tech and Florida wore two years ago.

Its getting to a point where the NCAA needs to stop regulating names that contain references to American Indians and need to start worrying about hideous uniforms that embarrass the sport of college football. These uniforms do a lot more harm to spectators' eyes than Stanford being called the Indians ever did to people.

We do give it about six months before Miles Brand to comes down on these uniforms with an iron fist. Miles don't take no crap.

Vintage Manning

2007-07-08T12:30:00.000-05:00

Great Manning video from Peyton's sophomore year at UT. Check out David Cutcliffe's shirt, he's stylin'.

Gators and AK's

2007-07-06T18:37:00.000-05:00

What will happen if you fire an AK-47 into the air in the middle of Gainesville, Florida? Well not too much if you are a member of the Gators football team as Ronnie Wilson was only suspended for one season after he ran out of a club and threateningly fired his semi-automatic gun in the air. The lineman was in an altercation in a club and then ran outside to get his gun, probably because he wasn't two times as big as the man he was attacking.

We are surprised that he isn't allowed to play against Tennessee and Florida State and suspended the rest of the year, guess Urban wanted to take a strong stance on this one. When Brandon Johnson and Chris Heath decided it was a great idea to fire guns in UT's student ghetto Fort Sanders in 2004 the Vols kicked both of them off the team within a week. They weren't threatening anyone either like in the Gator case. Its amazing that ESPN would rather report a story on crack and the Vols than Urban Legend letting hard asses from Miami fire guns all over the place in Gainesville or buying drugs from UNDERCOVER COPS. Spurrier might have been an S.O.B but he ran a clean ship. Things have slipped a lot since he left.

Ears Undergoes Appendectomy

2007-07-02T19:34:00.000-05:00

Auburn Tiger Head Coach Tommy Tuberville underwent successful surgery last week to remove his appendix. Not surprisingly Tuberville had the surgery in Florida, you didn't think they have a hospital in Auburn, Alabama did you? There is no chance the boosters are going to allow Ears to head up to Birmingham to get work done either, so to the state with the least morals east of the Mississippi for surgery it is. There would be a distinct chance a nurse would accidentally slip some arsenic into his I.V. while he was under anesthesia in Birmingham anyway so its probably for the best.

(On a side note, we can say with near certainty that Bear Bryant did not watch over this surgery.)

Gameday Opens with East Carolina...

2007-06-27T20:35:00.000-05:00

ESPN's College Football Gameday will open up the season Saturday September 1st in Blacksburg, Virginia when Va Tech plays the EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY PIRATES. Obviously the network did not want to see the Hokies play any of the other powerhouses on their schedule like Ohio, William and Mary or Duke. Why wait to profit on Va Tech's tragedy? Let's do it the first week of the season! Va Tech could have said, "No, come back when we play our big in-state rival William and Mary. Its going to be a great game, JMU almost beat us in Michael's redshirt freshman year, the Tribe will give us a run for our money this year."

Other potential sites that Gameday could have gone to had they cared about their product are FSU at Clemson, Colorado v. Colorado State (in Denver), Georgia Tech at Notre Dame or ABC's featured Saturday night game Tennessee v. Cal in Berkeley. Instead we will hear about the great atmosphere of Blacksburg on a Thursday night, how Lee Corso's car got hit by lightening back when Michael Vick was in school, how Beamer's face got burned, and how the Hokies can win more than a single game in November this year.

We are not eager to see the big cry fest in Blacksburg months after the shooting took place. Parents of victims will be complaining about how Memorial Fund money is being spent and who is on the committee to examine the tragedy all while Enter Sandman is being played in the background, great atmosphere. We will be mourning at 9 am on Saturday morning rather than celebrating the start of another football season all thanks to the brilliant programming managers at ESPN.

Great Take From Loser with Socks : College Gameday Will Open the Season at Va Tech

Blatant Discrimination or Were They Pulling Tigger's Tale?

2007-06-27T19:23:00.000-05:00

Four Florida State football commitments were kicked off of Walt Disney property over the weekend in Orlando, Florida. Five future players were at Downtown Disney when they were asked to move on and stop loitering late Saturday evening. All but one chose not to listen to security and stayed where they were. Later on in the night security came back by and escorted the four remaining teens off the property after banning them officially as well as finger printing each future Seminole.

All four individuals involved were black and one of the future Noles' father is a civil rights lawyer so Mickey Mouse better get his own lawyer because there is a good chance Jesse Jackson is coming to throw down in O-Town soon. To add fuel to the fire the future Noles' claim that 45 of the 46 people banned from Disney property this weekend were either black or Puerto Rican. For the purposes of full disclosure it should be noted that Puerto Rico is not good enough to be a state or a country, the U.S. owns it like Doug Brown owns his dog Peyton.

So far the news that has come out has been pretty one sided for the players but we are interested to see what Disney says these diabolical loiterers were doing. Rivals' FSU affiliate WarChant.com spent much of the day Wednesday trying to cover up the incident by monitoring their message boards to make sure little to nothing was posted on the subject. I don't think they need to worry about a clean image, FSU hasn't had that since the seventies anyway.

Shuler Disappoints at RFK Again

2007-06-26T19:02:00.000-05:00

North Carolina 11th District Congressional Representative Heath Shuler was a disappointment at RFK Stadium over the weekend as the Democrats lost the first two games of the 46th Annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball best of five game series. Despite putting on a show in batting practice, including hitting four home runs out of RFK Stadium, Shuler went hitless on the day. RFK has has always been tough on Heath.

The Washington Posts' Amy Argetsinger replied to my inquiry on whether they planned to publish another article on how Heath did as follows:

"We'll have it in tomorrow's column... GOP won, 5-2. Sadly, Heath Shuler grounded out on his first at bat, struck out the second two times.... Thanks for writing! -- Amy"

Here is the article Amy was referring to above (link).

The Democrats had lost five straight years coming into the weekend but with five freshman Congressman on their team there was a new hope for the party in 2007. The team now will have to dig itself out of a deep hole if they are to stop the losing streak this year. Maybe Nancy Pelosi can give the Donkeys a rah rah speech to get'em fired up.

It is good to see Congress is out having a good time because is not like they don't have any unresolved issues going on at the moment, only a war in the Middle East and boarder security with Mexico, those are minor.

Picture is of Congressmen Zach Wamp of Tennessee and Jim Ryun of Kansas in 2006

Mungion Roundin the Bases One Last Time

2007-06-25T22:41:00.000-05:00

The Elizabethton Twins had an off day Thursday but their ballpark was still put to good use as a funeral procession entered their Joe O'Brien Stadium and the casket was led around the bases by the Twins coaching staff. The casket contained the body of 61 year old Moe Riddle who was a lifelong fan of the mountain town's Rookie League baseball team.

Riddle had down syndrome but still attended nearly every game in recent years. He was known for his antics such as wearing a football helmet in the stands and could be heard cheering throughout the small ballpark. Riddle would tell other fans that it was his birthday every game and then ask for money endearing himself to fans whom knew it was not his birthday as he had told them the same thing last week.

South Carolina Lineman Shanked

2007-06-25T21:14:00.000-05:00

USC offensive lineman Quentin Richardson was stabbed after getting into an argument over the weekend in Columbia, South Carolina. Richardson, set to be a freshman this fall, is a four star Rivals recruit who is listed at 6'4", 270 pounds. Anyone messing with that dude has got to be crazy. Our bet is its gonna come back that some nut job like Demetrius Summers (see picture to the right) is the shanker in this incident.

Richardson is recuperating in the hospital after undergoing surgery Sunday afternoon. He is expected to be fine and released later this week. He has had many visitors including one very pissed off Steve Spurrier. Can't you see S.O.S. in the hospital room throwing his Master's visor while he is lecturing Richardson on not getting stabbed?

Why I Hate Georgia This Week...

2007-06-25T20:49:00.000-05:00

Introducing contributor J. Dredd who will be posting material about his life in Georgia this summer as well contribute other vibrant material to 12th Street Chatter.

We all know it already, Georgia sucks. Maryland and Washington even think that Georgia sucks. I am forced to live down here right out side the capital of scum itself, Atlanta, with Vick the Governor of trash. I am in the middle of the UGA "Dawgpound" where I am constantly barked and argued with about SEC football. I am now sick of it and its time to rant so here it is: The Reasons I Hate Georgia.

The reason I hate Georgia today is that people here will not admit that they are lower in life then a crippled orphan with fetal alcohol syndrome. I will personally drive every resident to AA and force them to admit their addiction to being terrible people, because it is the first step to recovery. (God knows that they can't recover, but they may still think they have a chance)

The other day I was having a beer and enjoying what little peace I get in a day and before I knew it I heard the drunk ramblings of local yokels. Low and behold three UGA fans stroll on up with collars popped and reeking of Smitches. (Don't know what a smitch is? Then you probably are one, Smitch). Apparently two of the girl interns I work with got picked up by them from a stop light and they took the girls to a bowling alley. Nice work Romeo, nothing like hurling balls at pins to cement yourself for scoring tonight. Anyways, I told them that I go to UT and then the barking starts. A swift kick to the throat to the "leader Smitch" quickly ended that. After a few minutes I granted them permission to speak to me again and we talked about football. After hearing how much UGA is better then UT (51-33?) and how great of an arm Stafford has, it was time that I had to rip their poorly expressed opinions to hell. After ruining their sh!@ they had time to realize how pathetic their existence is, so they then jumped off a bridge. I say Good Riddance and that Stafford has the same chance to win the Heisman as Lt. Dan has to win an ass kicking contest. I now dare someone in Georgia to argue that UGA is better then UT without quoting ESPN verbatim.

Hey congrats, you watched Sports Center and your brain hasn't been completely ruined by the fact your mother is your dad's sister that you can spit up the facts again while in a debate. Form your own damn opinions and stop telling me Stuart Scott's.

End Transmission...

Snap Out These Dreads and Put That Sh!@ in a Perm

2007-06-24T19:50:00.001-05:00

Adam 'Pacman' Jones turned himself in to Las Vegas authorities on Friday and was released on a lot of bail money. Jones has a court date scheduled for July 23 in Vegas to address the charges at hand. The early line at the Bellagio on Pacman missing the court date is 1 to 8.

Pacman showed up for his mugshot with an impressive new look having shaved his head. One can only assume he was getting clean for an encounter at a strip club later in the evening and look at that picture, what stripper could deny Pacman of a lap dance?

You can look forward to seeing Pacman on an episode of Dateline NBC's To Catch a Predator in August a la Marcus Vick. We can't wait.

Women's Volleyball a Second Tier Sport? Naaaw

2007-06-24T13:15:00.001-05:00

This is the first time we have been thrilled with Comcast in some time as with all cable companies they suck. But they did come out against Title IV declaring that women's volleyball is a second tier sport and that they can't be bullied into showing it on their regular packages. The network will show games that are not picked up by one of the main broadcast networks or ESPN as well as offering classic footage.

The disagreement is one that is reminiscent of the dispute that the NFL Network had with cable companies where the cable companies did not want to put the channel into base packages arguing it was a niche market. It is very similar here, but the main difference is that the Big Ten Network is only trying to be a basic channel in Big Ten states. Comcast eventually caved in due to consumers demanding the NFL Network and will be showing it on basic packages beginning in July. One would have to assume there is much less demand for college sports, especially in the North, and the Big Ten might have more trouble than the heavy handed NFL did.

Its great that someone is finally telling television networks that no one wants to see women's college volleyball on television, especially women's volleyball from Iowa. If Comcast had blatantly said women's volleyball holds no purpose they would be dead wrong. It allows the football team to offer more scholarships while keeping in compliance with Title IV rules.

We could see this causing MTV to do an Ashton Kutcher spinoff reality show from his alma mater. If Three 6 Mafia can get a Kutcher show then there is no reason that Iowa can't get one.

Towers Laughs at Social-Norms

2007-06-22T23:20:00.000-05:00

Toronto Blue Jay Josh Towers is a revolutionary as it is clearly illustrated in the picture to the left. See, Towers is a pitcher and wears the number 7. In the baseball world this is the equivalent of a shortstop wearing the number 103. Pitchers can't wear a number below 15, let alone a single digit number.

You might argue that pitchers can wear lower numbers, in fact some very good players did. Babe Ruth wore number 3 and he was the a heckuva pitcher before he was the greatest slugger of all-time. That was back in the day and uniform numbers had just been invented. It was acceptable at the time but the equipment managers would soon come to their senses.

Roger Clemens wore 12 when he joined the Yankees in free agency the first time in 1999. We can only assume that Steinbrenner flipped his sh!@ when he realized what was going on and wouldn't allow his organization to give out the number anymore to a pitcher. Clemens now wears 22 for the Yankees.

We hope this will not be the start of a trend in baseball. The sport has a number of problems already including steroids, lack of interest in the game and soaring salaries. Baseball doesn't need controversial numbers becoming a hot button issue as well. But we do wish good luck to Josh Towers and his quest to give single digit numbers worn by pitchers viability in the eyes of players, owners and fans. We will continue to follow Towers and his numerical mission.

Its Been a Tough Decade

2007-06-19T19:31:00.000-05:00

On Monday the Orioles fired manager Sam Perlozzo who saw the team to a dismal 122-164 under his watch. This will do absolutely nothing positive for the Orioles in the present or future. The organization is in complete and utter disarray these days from top to bottom. The O's have gone from a team in the 60's and 70's that clubs modeled their teams after to a laughing stock that is hard pressed to get fans to beautiful Camden Yards these days. The minor league system is in shambles, the Nationals just moved into D.C. what could be next?

Well owner Peter Angelos could make things worse by going out and signing a former Cubs General Manager, that would be horrible. Wait what did he do? He goes out and hires Andy McPhail that built the forgettable teams of the late 1990's for the Southsiders. If you think things can't get worse in Charm City, wait until a man that ran the Cubs now runs your team.

Joe Girardi interviewed for the job this morning and with all due respect, he is crazy for even considering this position right now. Girardi is an up and coming manager and the last thing he needs to do is throw himself in the middle of the dead end job that is the Orioles managerial position right now.

Big John Gettin Hype

2007-06-19T19:17:00.000-05:00

Jacksonville Jaguar John Henderson is a veteran that helps form the most intimidating defensive line in the NFL with Marcus Stroud. The Pro Bowl defensive tackle has never missed an NFL game in his six years in the league. Henderson also won the Outland Trophy as a junior at Tennessee for being the best offensive/defensive lineman in college football.

After watching this video you won't ever think of any of that again when seeing Big John play on Sunday.

Happy Trails Slick Shelley

2007-06-16T08:20:00.000-05:00

Slick Shelley who had a very unremarkable two years with Tennessee has decided to transfer to Tulsa. The native of Fort Smith, Arkansas will be remembered more at UT for his unique (gangsta) name than anything else. Injuries in his first two years took their toll on the highly recruited Shelley. With a loaded incoming recruiting class of wideouts Shelley decided it was time to transfer as he had the blessing of the Vols coaching staff.

In 2005 after Nashville's Patrick Turner turned down the Vols' scholarship offer and went to Southern Cal, Slick was a must get in the final weeks of recruiting but things never panned out once he arrived on campus. Have fun with the Golden Hurricane Slick.

The Wild, Wild West

2007-06-15T21:50:00.000-05:00

Jimmy Wilson (second team All Big Sky, not pictured) has been suspended by the University of Montana indefinitely after he turned himself in on murder charges Tuesday. The craziest thing about this is that Wilson was not suspended from the Grizzlies until Friday. He has a pretty good alibi if the coach is angry as to why he wasn't in the weight room or participating in seven on sevens between Tuesday and Friday. When he says he was in a bind and couldn't make practice he wasn't lying, he was in prison awaiting to be arraigned on first degree murder charges.

In Montana this isn't a case of Virginia Tech being bad and the University of Virginia being a school that's athletes behave either. Montana has no team with discipline. Montana State has kicked a player off of their team for murder charges (as well as a basketball player) and fired their coach due to the problems their program has had in the last couple years.

With all the incidents the state has had recently I'm amazed my old man was pushing me to apply to Montana State out of high school. I mean hell I could have had all the fun the Montana or State football team has down in Newport News and Hampton Roads at the homes of Hokies without driving 2,000 miles to school a semester. On a postive note I hear Shane Beamer is out there looking for a head coaching gig. Maybe he can right the ship for the Grizz.

Michael Vick - Update and SNL's REAAAAALLLY

2007-06-14T21:33:00.000-05:00

A couple noteworthy pieces from Deadspin:

In case you were planning on sending your child to Michael Vick's football camp you can be expecting a return of your deposit in the mail as it was canceled for 'scheduling reasons.' Vick might be anticipating a couple meetings with the feds, but hey maybe Marcus has some openings in his camp. I hear he takes the kids to McDonalds everyday for lunch.

Buffalo Bill linebacker Josh Stamer and his wife are not happy at all with the former Hokie's hobby.

South Carolina was a convenient dumping ground between Atlanta and Newport News.

Vick's cousin gets all dressed up for an interview by WAVY local news. Evidently its a conspiracy.

In case you were caught up in all the craziness surrounding the Michael Vick dog fighting investigation this is not the first time the athlete has courted controversy.

Exhibit A: Vick attempts to board plane in Miami with suspicious carry ons

Bryant, No Saban Runs QB Off Team

2007-06-14T19:20:00.001-05:00

Alabama has lost back up quarterback Jimmy Barnes in an episode the Tide faithful will surely compare with Bear Bryant's 'Junction Boys' training camp. According to Barnes he would 'not give up his dignity to Saban' just to stay on the football team. Barnes' attitude might explain why Alabama has lost 10 of 12 to Tennessee and dropped five straight to Auburn. Just like the Bear, Saban is running off everyone who isn't fit for the premier program in the state of ~~Alabama~~ ergh city of Tuscaloosa, forgot about Auburn these days.

The Sabanists will hail this as a victory that shows Alabama is a step closer to reclaiming its glory but we aren't so sure. This leaves Alabama with a freshman third stringer, Greg McElroy, as the current back up. Being a freshman McElroy has no game experience under his belt, other than the spring game that a handful of people showed up to. Its good to have players that want to be on the roster but this could come back to haunt the Tide in the short term. At least Brodie Croyle has graduated so it won't be guaranteed that McElroy will see the field this year.

Call the Patron Saint of Athletes

2007-06-13T18:03:00.000-05:00

All-Universe Super Prep Jimmy Clausen had surgery on his throwing elbow Wednesday. Head Coach Charlie Weis immediately asked for an audience with Pope Bendict to address the injury. We were just assuming the second part of that actually, but if Weis did make the request to the Vatican they would have to listen because Clausen is the savior of their football program right? At worst the Irish can throw some prayers Sebastians' way.

The injury which reportedly bothered Clausen in his senior high school season should not cause him to miss any practices in August. Well just as long as he is ready for Army, Navy, Air Force, Stanford and Duke the Irish will be alright.

Junior Teaming with Gordon, Johnson

2007-06-12T21:31:00.000-05:00

Dale Earnhardt Junior has shocked the racing world as it appears he will be racing for Hendrick Motor Sports next year according to sources way closer to the situation than we are. The change will purportedly take place in 2008 and Kyle Busch will leave the team. That is disappointing as having Miller Lite and Budweiser (who is sure to follow Junior) as sponsors on the same team could have lead to some interesting beer pongs and flip cup games in the infield. Which is smoother to get down your throat in a six pack chugging race? Does the carbonation of Budweiser adversely affect the bouncing of a ping pong ball in flip cup? We will never know.

Junior will have to get another number since DEI owns the rights to the 8 and won't be giving it up. If he is smart he will try to wrestle the 21 off the Little Debbie car. 21 is destined for great things, its a solid number it just needs a little bit to put it over the top.

This move will pair up Junior with Jeff Gordon, the man who nearly caused a riot in Alabama when he won at Talladega in April passing Junior's father on the all-time career win list. The partisans in Alabama don't like Gordon and his teammate Jimmie Johnson and the way Jimmie spells his name only partly explains this. Being born outside of a former Confederate State and not having 'paid dues' are probably the other reasons.

At Least It Wasn't Coke Coach Meyer

2007-06-12T21:00:00.000-05:00

Tailback Brandon James and basketball player Brandon Powell were arrested by Gainesville Police in an undercover police sting. Both athletes were suspended indefinitely by the athletic department.

Given Urban Meyer's recent history with suspending players James will probably be miss the first two games against Western Kentucky and Troy State , play against Tennessee and be suspended again against Ole Miss. Urban Legend needs to make sure his players are there to play the big boys. Powell is expected to have a larger role on this year's basketball team as the Gators are about to be dismantled by the NBA lottery. Powell is ofcourse from Memphis and continuing to expand the great reputation of the city that I live in. Way to keep it dope boi fresh.

Could they have been picking up something for Joakim Noah? With his dancing after winning the SEC Championship we couldn't rule it out.

Pacman Drops Appeal

2007-06-12T18:51:00.000-05:00

Adam "Pacman" Jones dropped his appeal of his season long suspension Tuesday, possibly when he realized he was appealing to Roger Goodell the same man who gave him the suspension he is appealing. We hold out hope that Pacman will throw a suspension party and one of our friends in Nashville will get get us in for free. Goodell still has not taken into account the club shooting in Vegas that Pacman allegedly incited which left a bouncer paralyzed. Charges are still pending in the case.

Put your money on it in Vegas and credit us later, Pacman will have another 'run in' with the cops in the next month but it will not involve a strip club much to many peoples' surprise. Taking classes online at West Virginia University can't keep you that occupied, got to get the fuzz involved and keep things interesting.

If Pac and Chris Henry do make it back to campus while suspended, they would make great mentors for Pat White and the rest of the Mountaineers.

Lion Touches Stripper

2007-06-11T20:46:00.000-05:00

That headline could lead to some crazy scenarios in our minds but its not too wild right now for Shaun Rogers who seems to have been tamed by the po po. A stripper at a club in Detroit claims she was 'inappropriately' touched' by the former Texas Longhorn late Thursday night and filed a report with the police. Charges have yet to be filed by the prosecutor so Rogers might yet escape Roger Goodells' great vengeance and furious anger. Its getting pretty bad for the Lions when they can't even score at a strip club in their hometown.

Rogers who had was expected to be a major contributor on the defensive line after a big 2005 season was a disappointment last year only playing in six games due to injury. Last Chance Gentleman's Club isn't the best place to rehab those injuries, ask any big time star in the NFL, well not Pacman, but anyone else. We do applaud Rogers on not going up to the strip clubs in the UP. According to Prime Minister Ed Davis its hard to tell the difference between the bears and girls up there.

It could be worse though, he could be that other Rogers, Charlie, that used to play in the league and now is running 4.8 40's at tryout camps.

Vols' Mears Passes Away

2007-06-11T20:12:00.000-05:00

Ray Mears, the winningest coach in Tennessee basketball history, died Monday in Knoxville at 80 years old. Mears is the most beloved men's coach UT ever had. He won three SEC Championships and endeared himself to fans with his humorous personality coaching the Vols from 1963-1977. His teams included such legends Ernie Grunfeld and Bernard King. Mears also coined the term 'Big Orange Country' and donned an orange sport coat at games. Bruce Pearl has paid tribute to Mears the past two seasons wearing the orange sport coat at big games with Mears' permission.

Many of you reading this might be astounded that Tennessee had decent men's basketball teams before Bruce Pearl arrived but this is true, the Vols had some ballas. UT has the biggest basketball arena in the south, can't fill it up but its the biggest, ballin'.

Clemens Signed With the Yankees?

2007-06-10T21:27:00.000-05:00

I think we might have missed the headlines, but when did 44 year old Roger Clemens sign with the Yankees? I thought he was retired watching his son Koby toil in the minors. Evidently that's not the case as he signed a prorated $28 million contract for one season. I guess I missed the first three starts that the Rocket made in the minors that were covered on ESPN. The crazy thing is that when I tried to watch him pitch against the hapless Pirates Saturday in the MAJOR LEAGUES, ESPN was showing billiards, spelling bee or something from the 'E' Entertainment of 'ESPN.' I checked Fox and SportsSouth without any success and finally realized he was only the local YES Network. Memphis Comcast does not supply the YES Network surprisingly.

Now if ESPN gave the whole country access to three starts IN THE MINORS you think that they might send a D level announcer like Rick Sutcliffe to Yankee Stadium to help there viewing public out and take over the contract from the YES Network. Send Jim Rome to give his 'take', he's under contract. Heck, they were showing Clemens in Trenton, New Jersey the other night and you couldn't even see him through on the field through all of the Jersey fog (read pollution.) ESPN back at it again.

Nugget Gets Tasered

2007-06-10T18:10:00.000-05:00

In one of the funnier developments over the weekend Denver Nugget bench warmer DerMarr Johnson would not cooperate with a police officer outside of a Colorado night club. This caused him to promptly be tasered by authorities. He was later charged with resisting arrest and interfering with police along with two other ladies.

So who the heck is DerMarr Johnson? Is it the guy that rubs down Carmelo after games? Well we aren't sure on that one, but he did play for Bob Huggins at Cincinnati which seems to correlate with the arrest. I mean who else did you recruit Coach? A kid named Jihad? Jihad Muhammad? In the scheme of things in life, DerMarr isn't very important, not important enough to be in our fantasy league anyway.

Maybe It Was Memphis....

2007-06-09T11:48:00.000-05:00

John Daly has had some ups and downs in his life. Its safe to say today was probably a downer for the golfer from Arkansas. Daly showed up Friday at the Stanford St. Jude Classic in Memphis with abrasions on his face claiming that his wife attacked him with a steak knife the night before. He filed a police report on the incident with the Shelby County Sheriff's Department.

Now this tournament is in Memphis, but most of the time when attacked with a knife in town this isn't how it goes down. First of all its not a steak knife that's used, its usually a box cutter/screw driver with duct tape on it. Also this normally doesn't go down in a nice hotel like Daly was staying at, think more Orange Mound or Frayser. Why didn't he just go back after her with a knife rather than ratting her out to the po-lice? You have to keep it real to the streets John!

Earl Weaver Giving the What For

2007-06-07T22:18:00.000-05:00

Great video on Hall of Fame manager Earl Weaver of the Baltimore Orioles. (It has some cursing in it.) Earl doesn't like being told he blew more World Series than he won evidently...

We would probably pay $41 to hear what Bobby Cox says to get run when he finally gets the all time record.

Another Reason to Go Back to Nawlins

2007-06-07T20:41:00.000-05:00

Louisiana is continuing its push to be named the worst state in the nation. Forget that they had a congressman indicted this week for taking over half a million dollars in bribes; certain New Orleans residents robbed the mother of deceased New England Patriot Marquise Hill WHILE HIS FUNERAL WAS GOING ON. This is right up there with state troopers planting drugs in spring breakers' cars and Mayor Nagin going to Baton Rouge rather than staying in the Superdome when Katrina hit.

There are really few things I can imagine that would be worse than taking advantage of a grieving family while they attend a funeral of their son. Its bad enough the former LSU Tiger died so young, but then these bums steal $16,000 worth of belongings.

This story has flown in under the radar but it is not too surprising this has happened. The fact that Louisianians who have fled out of New Orleans and contributed to record crime rates in Houston, Little Rock, Memphis and Jackson (Mississippi) has not been reported either in the mainstream media either.

With any luck those people that committed the crime against Hill's mom will be caught and rot in Angola for many years.

Upshaw Union Boss (Commie) Threatens Ex-Lineman

2007-06-05T22:41:00.001-05:00

The NFLPA seems to be using mob tactics these days as they are recklessly going after Hall of Fame lineman Joe DeLamielleure who was O.J. Simpson's lead blocker in the 1970's for the Bills. In an interview with the Philadephia Daily News the NFLPA President Gene Upshaw stated, "A guy like DeLamielleure says the things he said about me; you think I'm going to invite him to dinner? No. I'm going to break his . . . damn neck." Seems like you might or might now break his neck Gene, but he's on his way to ending up in a trunk in Jersey.

Wish this was not the case but it seems to be all too common for unions to use unnecessary force. It can be physical or financial but the goal is to achieve things that will only benefit a few at the top of the union. You have the NFL making millions today while players from the sixties can't walk straight due to concussions and are being denied benifits by union doctors to save a few dollars to defend the likes of Pacman Jones and Ray Lewis. Unions continue to be a pervasive communist threat and unless current players stand up against this boss Upshaw they will be sent down the path of the Russian mob by their 'leader.' Mike Minter will be walking around crippled cashing Medicare checks at the Publix as well. This is what happens when the University of Miami has more players in the NFL than any other school...

Cobb - The Lueker Incident

2007-05-29T21:58:00.000-05:00

On May 15, 1912 the Detroit Tigers were in town to play the New York Highlanders (who would become the Yankees.) Great day at the ballpark for everyone including Ty Cobb until hometown fan Claude Lueker showed up. During the first three innings Cobb and Lueker went at it verbally as Cobb sparred with the fan who was sitting just above the visitor's dugout. Sam Crawford the Tiger's rightfielder asked Cobb if he was going to take such abuse and as soon as he did Lueker let loose with an insult implicating Cobb's mother and a black man having intimate relations or Cobb being black depending on the account of the story. Being from Royston, Georgia at the turn of the century Cobb took extreme exception and climbed into the stands to attack Lueker. The problem for Lueker was that he was a cripple who had no hands and thus could not fight back against Cobb.

Needless to say Tyrus Raymond Cobb won the fight beating Lueker to a pulp and was suspended indefinitely. Be on the look out for more entertaining Cobb stories that make Barry Bonds look like a great citizen and humanitarian in the future.

The Gators Call for Playoff

2007-05-29T21:15:00.000-05:00

The University of Florida President Bernie Machen is raising hell at Hooters and the annual SEC business meetings this week in Destin, Florida. Machen is calling for the SEC to look at implementing a playoff system and getting rid of the beloved, errrrr, hated BCS system. Normally we'd normally think this was a great idea but coming from Florida we're not so sure. This is the same school that asked Steve Spurrier, who had won a National Title for the Gators in 1996, to send in his resume for the vacant head football coach position after Ron Zook was fired and Spurrier was out of a job. When asked Spurrier famously replied, "You want my resume? Go outside your office and look in the f!@#ing trophy case." He didn't get the job.

Also coming out of the meetings was talk of creating a SEC television network like the Big Ten is rolling out this year. That would be great in our opinion as it would put the Jefferson Pilot, now Lincoln Financial announcers out of work (like Dave Neal pictured above) and living under a bridge in Baton Rouge. But would we be able to live without the Brooks and Dunn intro????

Michael Vick - Heavyweight

2007-05-28T19:00:00.000-05:00

So now ESPN has done some investigative reporting and has found a 'Dog Fight Trainer' that has fought his dog against Michael Vick's dog in the past. In 2000 the trainer, who remained anonymous in the article, claims that Vick is known as a 'heavyweight' in the dog fighting arena. For those of you that have never been to a fight, that means he brings a quality dog to fight and lays down a lot of cash to bet on his dog. The source estimates $30,000-$40,000 a fight.

In the fight in 2000 which Vick's animal lost, he reportedly laid down at least $5,000 on his animal. For those of you keeping track at home that is half of $10,000 which is what he gave to the families of the Virginia Tech shootings.

"Yo Marcus, I'm dropping mad cash on Rex Saturday night. He is gonna tear'em up." - Michael
"Ballin!" - Marcus

They will be airing the story with the trainer Tuesday at 3:30 EST on Outside the Lines. Can't wait.

Alabama Back At It?

2007-05-26T16:24:00.001-05:00

It looks as though Alabama is reverting back to the days of Bear Bryant. No, they aren't winning championships, they are pulling some stunts on the recruiting trail down in Miami. As was first reported by CaneSports.com, Saban apparently had too much contact with juniors as he was visiting Northwestern High School in Dade County. Seems pretty minor but beware Sabanists, its a slippery slope.

It must also be noted that we find it pretty funny that Saban told the head coach at Northwestern, "Alabama is a great place to get a degree." I mean its a place to get a degree but is it a 'great' place? Charles Barkley would probably beg to differ.

Gillespie Rattles Woman

2007-05-26T14:35:00.000-05:00

Florida A&M University head basketball coach Mike Gillespie Jr. has been arrested on stalking charges per ESPN. According to Tallahassee police have investigated Gillespie 'several times' since 2005 with the same issue. I guess that when the coach told his players to 'guard your opponent like you are stalking him,' he really meant it. I mean stalking, come on. Its one thing to get a DUI but stalking!??!?!?

On top of all the probation that the Rattlers have for cheating in NCAA sports this is not going to be good for recruiting. The historically black school has been plagued by over 200 recruiting violations that have put all programs on probation through the year 2010.

FAMU!

Hogs No Longer Running Wild in Alabama

2007-05-25T16:53:00.000-05:00

Sorry Sabanists, Darren McFadden and Felix Jones didn't decide to go pro.

So evidently 11 year old Jamison Stone has killed a 9 foot 4 inch wild hog that weighed in excess of 1,050 pounds recently in Delta, Alabama. It took eight shoots and three hours to bring down the razorback with a .50 caliber revolver. Obviously its the biggest pig ever found, even bigger than Hogzilla according to Fox News. Come on Democrats they have no reason to make this up...

12th Street is the first news outlet to confirm for a fact that this was not the body that Bear Bryant's spirit has inhibited in his quest to make sure that all is right in the universe since his death. If the Bear's spirit was possessing the hog he would have eaten the boy Stone and his father and deposited the droppings on the fifty yard line of Jordan-Hare Stadium.

Ryan Say It Ain't Seaux

2007-05-24T18:43:00.000-05:00

LSU quarterback Ryan Perrilloux can no longer be addressed as LSU quarterback, at least for the time being, as he has been suspended by head coach Les Miles for, "an indefinite period of time" for an "accumulation of indiscretions." Who would think that being named in a federal COUNTERFEITING investigation and then getting thrown out of a casino like he pinched a cocktail waitress, could get you in trouble as a student athlete at LSU?

This comes after the All-World Recruit made bold predictions coming out of high school that he would beat out future 2007 NFL number one overall pick JaMarcus Russell for starting quarterback job, and my favorite, win the Heisman as a sophomore. You ain't no Billy Cannon son, you wear number 11 and everyone knows there isn't a chance of winning the Heistman Trophy with a numeral like that.

Les Miles likely cursed reporters at the press conference which was not attended by 12th Street Chatter. This clears the way for new starting quarterback Matt Flynn to ease into the taking the offensive reins this fall without distractions such as COUNTERFEITING taking place in team meetings.

Oliver Dawgs It in the Classroom

2007-05-24T18:15:00.000-05:00

Georgia senior cornerback Paul Oliver has been ruled ineligible for the upcoming season. After not accumulating a high enough GPA to stay eligible with a 'Housing' major, he will most likely enter the upcoming NFL Supplemental Draft in order to afford one now that that scholarship is about to run out. You can only hope he didn't get kicked off the team for screwing up the legos while building a scaled housing development, but since he isn't at the good state school Georgia Tech you can't be sure.

UGA fans will be fast to point out its a big loss and that he held Calvin Johnson to two catches and under 20 yards last year. Other football fans will point out the fact Reggie 'Can't Throw A' Ball was his quarterback last year and its a miracle Calvin Johnson caught that many against the Bulldogs. When faced with another first round draft pick Oliver gave up a little more, 98 yards on seven catches to Tennessee's Robert Meachem.

Sophomore Asher Allen will most likely replace Oliver. He was Georgia's 'Newcomer of the Year' last season, not golden boy Matthew Stafford. Someone screwed up the engraving on the trophy so they had to give it to him. Asher will need to Cowboy up against Oklahoma State which will likely be his first test as a starter September 1.

Michael Vick - Presents the PETA Bowl

2007-05-23T18:48:00.000-05:00

Recently PETA has been active in the sports world. First they called for Atlanta Falcon’s owner Arthur Blank to release Michael Vick from the team if he is found to have participated in dog fighting. Then this week after LSU live mascot Mike the Tiger V died the animal advocacy group has sprung into action again asking for LSU to not replace Mike with another live tige

Now fast forward to the start of the college football season. Michael Vick is in Baton Rouge with his alma mater the Virginia Tech Hokies who are about to play the LSU on the gridiron September 7. Both schools have had enough guff from PETA. Vick has been in contact with Skip Bertman the athletic director of LSU and they are planning a match for the ages ironically away from Death Valley at the Pete Maravich Assembly Center. A tiger fight to the death is in store.

The fight sanctioned by Vick’s K9 business, will have animals that have been brought in from the Burmese jungles and trained by Vick at his Surry County home in tidewater Virginia. These beasts have walked five hours a day on dread mills, taken more shots in the butt than Jose Canseco, mauled cows and kept a close watch out for terrorists around Norfolk’s Naval Base in the months leading up to the event.

Two six hundred pound Bengal tigers will go one round to the death in an evident that will have no rematch. The gambling boats in Louisiana have established the tiger named 'Druckenmiller' with its hair dyed slightly red as the favorite to beat the home town favorite 'Dinardo.’

With such a match up celebrities flocked to the event including: NFLers Clinton Portis and Chris Samuels; MLB’s Milton Bradley and former player Albert Belle; the WNBA’s Diana Taurasi as well as the recently fired Coach O, Courtney Love and Chelsea Clinton.

One can only picture College Gameday talking about the intense emotion from the night before on Saturday morning after Druckenmiller doesn’t live up to the hype and is dismembered before a cheering Cajun crowd. “Lee, it looked like he had a chance but DiNardo just showed more emotion,” chimes in Erin Andrews.

On the sideline of a blowout 42-13 LSU win Vick will only have a short statement while being interviewed, “Man the world loves Michael Vick, PETA can hate but its not like I have a disease or something…”

Its a sad day for PETA and the Hokies.

Past Vol Legends - Heath Shuler

2007-05-21T22:24:00.000-05:00

Heath Shuler had one of the most productive careers in University of Tennessee football history playing for the Vols between 1991 and 1993. He left the Vols as a junior to become a top NFL draft pick placing third on the all-time list with 4,088 passing yards behind only Andy Kelly and Jeff Francis. Heath's 36 career touchdown passes ranked him second behind Kelly when he left and he still holds the UT mark for most consecutive games throwing a touchdown pass at 18.

Since leaving football to a debilitating injury after a pro career that spanned four seasons Heath has dedicated himself the people of the 11th Congressional District. He is currently a member of the Blue Dog Coalition, a group that's mission is to make the government fiscally responsible. A Democrat, Shuler has worked across the aisle on issues such as gun control and abortion which is a key issues to his faith as a Southern Baptist. Heath is also the chairman of the House Small Business Subcommittee on Rural and Urban Entrepreneurship.

We on 12th Street love Heath and wore the number 21 in high school because of him but there are some boneheads that for some reason have a problem with North Carolina's "People's Champion." All we know is that the man behind this negative campaign ad is probably a communist.

Heath lives in Waynesville, North Carolina with his wife and two children.