Wrong Hander Day '07 is a Poor One for Vick

Assuming you are a normal person you would think today is just another hot muggy dog day at the end of summer in August. If your hand of choice is not the right hand though, today just might be your day, a 'special' day. August 13 is International Lefthander Day and that is just not right. As it has been proven in Lithuania, all wrong handers are of inferior skills both mentally and physically. An indisputable fact. Still wrong handed birds are celebrating in different ways across our nation.

Wrong hander Rick Ankiel celebrated today on his first off day since hitting three bombs in his first four games after getting back to the majors. He probably got a porterhouse steak at Ruth's Chris steakhouse tonight. Bill Clinton was happy to take a day off after his wife won the Iowa Straw Poll. Bill probably is kicking it with some girls from the Clinton School of Public Service at the pool as I type. Michael Vick, well, he didn't have the best Wrong Handed Day. He found out all three of the people that he was charged with in his dog fighting debacle are going to cooperate with federal authorities and will testify against him. Worst Wrong Hander Day EVER!

Vick was a horrible wrong hander long before he started electrocuting dogs, throwing dogs, strangling dogs or even shooting dogs. It looks as though karma is finally catching up to him. Right now Ron Mexico is talking to his lawyer saying, 'Man I can go to jail, I just can't end up like Andy Dufresne in that one scene in the laundry room. That ain't Hokie man. Negotiate that shit.' I'm sure you will have good luck with negotiations now that you got at least seven people ready to testify against you Mr. Vick. Good luck you frappin' wrong hander.



ESPN won't even show the dreaded 'Quarterback Challenge' due to that dang wrong hander now either. Leave it to the network to pile on.

Harold, It Feels Like Its Been a Lifetime

A year ago tomorrow morning I got a text message while settling into my cube in Atlanta. My friend Ernie was trying to alert me that my main nemeses in life, Harold Reynolds, had been dismissed from his job. I refused to believe it. Then another text came in came from minor league personality Segal and I decided to check it out, still not believing that Reynolds had reached his day of reckoning. But sure enough, the blogs were reporting that H.R. was out of work. Victory was mine.

The two time Gold Glove winner has now been off of ESPN broadcasts for a year as he was indeed fired year ago today, July 25, 2006. Reynolds is currently suing the television network over the dismissal which he claims was without merit. It was reported that Harold was fired over an 'inappropriate hug' that occurred at an Outback Steakhouse just prior to his termination. This hug is in dispute.

But looking back on it I have realized that I lost. I lost big time. I will be the first to say I miss the bumbling H.R. and yes, I entered the 'Spend a Day With Harold Reynolds Contest' in 2005. I have an Orioles personalized throwback jersey with 'Reynolds 6' on the back of it. I also know that in his only year with the O's in 1993 Harold wore two numbers, 6 and 25. I now will admit I was a fan.

Reynolds was a lightening rod for controversy (at least in my circles) with his commentary often being controversial (in my circles) and difficult to understand (in my circles) on Baseball Tonight which he teamed with John Kruk as the two most dynamic personalities of the show. ESPN has tried many talking heads in an attempt to replace Harold on Baseball Tonight since then, but no one has been able to have the on air chemistry that he possessed with the Krukster. Harold also was a manager on the ESPN hyped celebrity all-star softball game and gave kid friendly broadcasts of the Little League World Series in addition to his duties on Baseball Tonight.

Good luck to Harold on his new job with MLB.com, selling his coaching videos and his 5 million dollar lawsuit against ESPN. We just hope that if he testifies in his trial that someone will give the jury a copy of what he said because Lord knows there is no way they will understand what he's saying.



On that card pictured above Harold notes the following verse from the book of Jeremiah 29:11 "I alone have the plans I have for you, plans to bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future full of hope."

The United States of America v. Michael Vick

In the last week we have watched in delight as events have unfolded in the People versus Michael Vick a.k.a. 'Ron Mexico' a.k.a. 'Ookie'. (Here is the whole 18 page indictment from The Smoking Gun) Polls show over 80 percent of people want him in jail if he did this and he faces up to six years in jail if convicted. People who have never followed football in their life now know he is a bad person who will be judged one day for his actions.

A couple of thoughts:

Its hilarious that Vick's dogfighter name 'Ookie' has an eerie resemblance to Hokie. I always thought a Hokie was a castrated turkey, not a dogfighter. Guess you learn something everyday.

According to the document Vick and his cronies killed dogs by hosing them down then electrocuting them, hanging them, shooting them and throwing them on the ground repeatedly. I guess Vick can miss wide open receivers but he can't miss the ground when tossing dogs. Well you never know, his completion percentage last year was 52.6%.

Pacman is in trouble mainly for being an idiot (oh yeah and that one tussle when a man was paralyzed) but this is so much worse.

Until the weekend you could still buy an 'Ookie' customized Falcons jersey at NFLShop.com. Ron Mexico was taken off the shelf immediately after that suit became public knowledge so its surprising it took the NFL a couple of days this time.

This isn't a local prosecutor going for attention like in the Duke Lacrosse Scandal or the Kobe Bryant Debacle. Uncle Sam's lawyers will not prosecute without a solid case.

College Gameday will probably be focusing on the tragic shooting when they arrive in Blacksburg September 1st. We don't expect a lot of shots of their captain from the Hokies' glory year of 1999.

Vick was betting thousands of dollars per fight on these dogs. Suppose on top of his NFL salary he made $10 million last year (in endorsements - not including dogfight winnings) which would put his total earnings at about $18.4 million. He gave $10,000 to the Va Tech Victims Relief Fund. If a person earning $50,000 a year gave that amount he would only be giving $27.17. So he could afford to fight a lot of dogs and doing this was more important than helping out his alma mater in its time of need.

How the hell do you get involved with dog fighting in the first place? I can't imagine watching the Iron Bowl with one of my friends and it just coming up in casual conversation. "Hey Cox is throwing all over us again this year. Lets get out of hear and head down to Byhalia. One of my boys got his pitbull in the ring tonight. He's fighting a dalmatian, its gonna be a blood bath."

Gators and AK's

What will happen if you fire an AK-47 into the air in the middle of Gainesville, Florida? Well not too much if you are a member of the Gators football team as Ronnie Wilson was only suspended for one season after he ran out of a club and threateningly fired his semi-automatic gun in the air. The lineman was in an altercation in a club and then ran outside to get his gun, probably because he wasn't two times as big as the man he was attacking.

We are surprised that he isn't allowed to play against Tennessee and Florida State and suspended the rest of the year, guess Urban wanted to take a strong stance on this one. When Brandon Johnson and Chris Heath decided it was a great idea to fire guns in UT's student ghetto Fort Sanders in 2004 the Vols kicked both of them off the team within a week. They weren't threatening anyone either like in the Gator case. Its amazing that ESPN would rather report a story on crack and the Vols than Urban Legend letting hard asses from Miami fire guns all over the place in Gainesville or buying drugs from UNDERCOVER COPS. Spurrier might have been an S.O.B but he ran a clean ship. Things have slipped a lot since he left.

Gameday Opens with East Carolina...

ESPN's College Football Gameday will open up the season Saturday September 1st in Blacksburg, Virginia when Va Tech plays the EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY PIRATES. Obviously the network did not want to see the Hokies play any of the other powerhouses on their schedule like Ohio, William and Mary or Duke. Why wait to profit on Va Tech's tragedy? Let's do it the first week of the season! Va Tech could have said, "No, come back when we play our big in-state rival William and Mary. Its going to be a great game, JMU almost beat us in Michael's redshirt freshman year, the Tribe will give us a run for our money this year."

Other potential sites that Gameday could have gone to had they cared about their product are FSU at Clemson, Colorado v. Colorado State (in Denver), Georgia Tech at Notre Dame or ABC's featured Saturday night game Tennessee v. Cal in Berkeley. Instead we will hear about the great atmosphere of Blacksburg on a Thursday night, how Lee Corso's car got hit by lightening back when Michael Vick was in school, how Beamer's face got burned, and how the Hokies can win more than a single game in November this year.

We are not eager to see the big cry fest in Blacksburg months after the shooting took place. Parents of victims will be complaining about how Memorial Fund money is being spent and who is on the committee to examine the tragedy all while Enter Sandman is being played in the background, great atmosphere. We will be mourning at 9 am on Saturday morning rather than celebrating the start of another football season all thanks to the brilliant programming managers at ESPN.

Great Take From Loser with Socks : College Gameday Will Open the Season at Va Tech

Clemens Signed With the Yankees?

I think we might have missed the headlines, but when did 44 year old Roger Clemens sign with the Yankees? I thought he was retired watching his son Koby toil in the minors. Evidently that's not the case as he signed a prorated $28 million contract for one season. I guess I missed the first three starts that the Rocket made in the minors that were covered on ESPN. The crazy thing is that when I tried to watch him pitch against the hapless Pirates Saturday in the MAJOR LEAGUES, ESPN was showing billiards, spelling bee or something from the 'E' Entertainment of 'ESPN.' I checked Fox and SportsSouth without any success and finally realized he was only the local YES Network. Memphis Comcast does not supply the YES Network surprisingly.

Now if ESPN gave the whole country access to three starts IN THE MINORS you think that they might send a D level announcer like Rick Sutcliffe to Yankee Stadium to help there viewing public out and take over the contract from the YES Network. Send Jim Rome to give his 'take', he's under contract. Heck, they were showing Clemens in Trenton, New Jersey the other night and you couldn't even see him through on the field through all of the Jersey fog (read pollution.) ESPN back at it again.