Assuming you are a normal person you would think today is just another hot muggy dog day at the end of summer in August. If your hand of choice is not the right hand though, today just might be your day, a 'special' day. August 13 is International Lefthander Day and that is just not right. As it has been proven in Lithuania, all wrong handers are of inferior skills both mentally and physically. An indisputable fact. Still wrong handed birds are celebrating in different ways across our nation.Wrong hander Rick Ankiel celebrated today on his first off day since hitting three bombs in his first four games after getting back to the majors. He probably got a porterhouse steak at Ruth's Chris steakhouse tonight. Bill Clinton was happy to take a day off after his wife won the Iowa Straw Poll. Bill probably is kicking it with some girls from the Clinton School of Public Service at the pool as I type. Michael Vick, well, he didn't have the best Wrong Handed Day. He found out all three of the people that he was charged with in his dog fighting debacle are going to cooperate with federal authorities and will testify against him. Worst Wrong Hander Day EVER!
Vick was a horrible wrong hander long before he started electrocuting dogs, throwing dogs, strangling dogs or even shooting dogs. It looks as though karma is finally catching up to him. Right now Ron Mexico is talking to his lawyer saying, 'Man I can go to jail, I just can't end up like Andy Dufresne in that one scene in the laundry room. That ain't Hokie man. Negotiate that shit.' I'm sure you will have good luck with negotiations now that you got at least seven people ready to testify against you Mr. Vick. Good luck you frappin' wrong hander.
ESPN won't even show the dreaded 'Quarterback Challenge' due to that dang wrong hander now either. Leave it to the network to pile on.
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