Beamer Ball on the Bayou

In case you missed it the Virginia Tech Hokies were only able to score seven points against the Chinese Bandits from LSU in a loss which would be politically incorrect to appropriately describe. Sean Glennon who was quarterbacking the team is now going to be replaced by all Iverson/Vick freshman Tyrod Taylor.

Tyrod under center in Lane Stadium. That's about right.

It is nice to see the Hokies come back down to earth after an off season where they came in over hyped due to off the field events that had nothing to do with sports. The Hokies were barely able to beat barely I-A East Carolina University two weekends ago but people were expecting them to go to LSU and handle the Tigers? We realize Les Miles still coaches the Tigers but that does not make them that bad...

Watch out for the upset special the next two weeks. The Chokies are playing Ohio University and William and Mary University and you heard it here first, they will lose one of those games.

Why? Karma. Tyrod wears Marcus Vick's old number 5. Glennon wears Michael Vick's 'retired' number 7. We won't even start on the topic of Vick's number being retired but still being worn tonight. I have work in the morning.

12th Street Chatter - Awareness 99

Tonight is Christmas Eve for many who can't wait to get their hands on EA Sports' NCAA Football 2008 which is officially in stores tomorrow. This year the cover boy is former Boise State quarterback Jared Zabransky who is struggling to make the Houston Texan's roster currently. The game play has allegedly been improved greatly on 360 and this will be the first year that the game will be offered on PS3. Can't wait to see it on my HD television.

Here is some inside information from our source who tested the game out in California has given us some top secret information on the game's ratings.

Brent Schaeffer - Speed 89, Threating With Bats 98, Awareness 39
Virginia Tech Quarterbacks - Animal Rights 37, Stomping on Opponents' Knees 94
Urban Meyer - Tough Stand on Discipline 40
Les Miles - Speaking When Should Be Learning to Read 89
Clemson Tailgate Experience - 99
Matthew Stafford - Strength 67, Keg Lifting Strength 84
Charlie Weis - NFL Bound 88, Screwed by the Clausen Family 90
Ole Miss - Winning Tradition 36
Mississippi State - Cowbells 99
UGA the Bulldog - 36 Overall
Vanderbilt - Band 42, Cheerleaders 36, Athletic Department 0
Spurrier - Awareness 97, Under Armour Commercials 56
Tim Tebow - Jump Passes 77, Popularity 97, Injury 45 (will miss start by November)
Tuberville - Strength of Schedule 42, Whining 92
Alabama - Reality 36, RVs 99, Worshiping False Idols 88
Houston Nutt - Job Security 45, Awareness with Reporters 73
Eric Berry - Choice of Numbers 43
Red Georgia Pants - 44

Pretty accurate ratings it looks like.

Ryan Say It Ain't Seaux

LSU quarterback Ryan Perrilloux can no longer be addressed as LSU quarterback, at least for the time being, as he has been suspended by head coach Les Miles for, "an indefinite period of time" for an "accumulation of indiscretions." Who would think that being named in a federal COUNTERFEITING investigation and then getting thrown out of a casino like he pinched a cocktail waitress, could get you in trouble as a student athlete at LSU?

This comes after the All-World Recruit made bold predictions coming out of high school that he would beat out future 2007 NFL number one overall pick JaMarcus Russell for starting quarterback job, and my favorite, win the Heisman as a sophomore. You ain't no Billy Cannon son, you wear number 11 and everyone knows there isn't a chance of winning the Heistman Trophy with a numeral like that.

Les Miles likely cursed reporters at the press conference which was not attended by 12th Street Chatter. This clears the way for new starting quarterback Matt Flynn to ease into the taking the offensive reins this fall without distractions such as COUNTERFEITING taking place in team meetings.